Never really knew how much I would think about the past. All those times I was chilling in Nashville getting lit all the time lol. Doing everything under the sun.

I would leave Antioch and go to East Nashville just to hang with the “homie”. Boy... you never really know who’s hating with the door closed. I learned a lot of lessons that summer 🥴.

Then there was you...

I miss those late nights when I used to ride everywhere with you listening to the same music over and over.

You always did that lol.

I’ll never forget us going into Frugal Macdoogal’s And I started picking up expensive shit and you hit me with the “I get shit I can afford.”

We have countless memories and I keep going back to them because even though I was suffering then, I was happy with my best friend. Some may think it makes no sense. I remember when I told you I loved you in front of your sister and she was like “Y’all already saying you love each other?”

I’m just like, “Yeah” 🤷🏽‍♀️.

But we knew we were connected more mentally than physically and that’s what I loved about you.

Something neither one of us could explain but, we both knew.

I could hear the pain in your voice the last time we chilled together.

I told you I planned on starting a business and possibly moving to Atlanta because of family.

You knew you were losing me. But in the end I lost you 😢.

They tore your brother’s house down no more sitting under the stars there.

I ride down those streets sometimes just to remember you.

I know a lot of backroads just because of you. You taught me a lot.

How I need to be treated and how I shouldn’t be treated.

I just wish I could hug you.
Your facial expressions will forever be interred in my bones.

I love you.

I scared myself one day. I pretended you were still with me and my entire world lit up. I could feel my face glow. I could see the sun breaking through the clouds. I could see your face.

“This is only going to hurt you” I heard a voice come from the back of my mind.

It was very calm but still serious. Very comforting.

Then reality set in.

........

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