All my life, I've been surrounded by toxic and unhealth marriages and relationships. Parents who have fallen out of love yet they still are together " Trying to make it work", divorced parents, cheating partners, and arranged marriages. The kids who've grown with those types of relationships in their life get what I'm feeling (and if by chance you're reading this, my full respect to you because this crap is hard.)
I'm not one to care for being in a relationship with someone but even I, as a human does, has the what if's and ideas of what it could be.
But I have noticed a common pattern in my life
"Love" sure likes to play a game of baiting me.
Just when I find someone who I think cares or at least someone I am fond of
they have quickly pulled away like a treat being taken away from a dog
If it wasn't bad enough growing in an environment empty of love
living through the bait game makes it worse.
I just don't get it. Does it mean I need to be on my own? If so I don't have a problem with that but why make me cross paths with someone in the first place?
Why can't I just be left alone so I don't have to feel like such a loser when I know they will never like me back.
Is it some sick joke? A lesson? A punishment?
I just don't understand.
Even when I change my mind, something pushes me back and shows me otherwise.
So what do you want universe?
Because I'd rather be on my own then you trying to bait me
Just because I'm on my own doesn't mean I'm lonely