(I'm not trying to change people or insult them or make someone feel bad, my words and my actions motivated me to write this. Thank you or sorry)

I know …

I know I need to change …

When you tell me that I must change my attitude and stop being so direct and cold: I know.

When I post a photo and you tell me I need to lose weight: I know.

When I say that all bodies are perfect just as they are and you tell me that it is not healthy to romanticize big bodies… you confuse me.

The reason I write this is because a photo I just saw on Instagram saying that big bodies are not beautiful and we should stop romanticizing them. And I know this is a debate that will not be resolved overnight. But, I want to say something, and maybe people will think I'm wrong or right, but I have to tell someone. And I am afraid of facing people.

Last Christmas I went to the beach and all my life I have been fighting with my body. I am short and chubby, I always compare myself to my friends. But I built up my courage and decided to try on a two-part swimsuit. I felt so beautiful and sure of myself. I also took some photos, but then a girl came up to me. She was wearing a two-part swimsuit. She looked amazing, and I thought she needed help taking a picture or something. But when she got closer, she told me that I needed to lose weight. That I didn't look so good. I felt terrible. I wanted to say something, ask her to leave me alone… but I just turned around and ran to my room.

I cried for fifteen minutes and then I changed my clothes. I put on a one-piece swimsuit and a short. I grabbed a large baggy blouse and went back downstairs. I tried to distract myself and think of something else, but the girl's words really hurt.

Now I know what people mean when they say that words hurt.

Don't go around saying to people, "Hey, you must lose weight, you're fat."

I know I must change, do not think I haven't tried. Sports, diets, everything. I tried as many sports as I could: basketball, soccer, swimming, karate, gymnastics, dance, and much more. Diets and more diets, food control… but it doesn't work for me, and that frustrates me.

Maybe this doesn't change anyone or make you feel better, but I needed to tell this to anyone.

If someone comes and tells you that you are not beautiful or that you are to fat or to skinny, do what I didn't have the courage to do. "Tell them to fuck off." (Or as we say in my country: váyanse a la ch*ngada).

Image removed fashion, model, and swimsuit image

Baby, don't let anyone make you feel less. No matter your height or weight, you are perfect just the way you are. And… self-love is so hard to come by. If you already did it, congratulations, I am so proud of you. If not, take it easy. Self-love is a battle that is not resolved in a day, it is a difficult and tiring job, sometimes you will try to give up.

Don't listen to the negative things people have to say about you, you can do it.

Maybe I won't make a change or something like that, but I needed to tell this. If I insulted or hurted someone, I'm sorry. I'm not really good with words (and I study literature lol).

(Maybe I'll delete it later)