Part one is somewhere on my page for anyone confused :)

The truth is although I wanted a relationship so bad, a big part of me did not want one either. As I grew older I also started to care less, I still cared, but I think I cared because everyone cared about boys. I realized that I got nervous talking to boys I didn't even like. I soon got over this, but the point here is that I realized that I wasn't ready for a relationship. I was waiting for a relationship on the daily just because I was sort of peer pressured, and this might be true for a lot of you guys too. We sometimes search for a relationship because of peer pressure or like me also, we feel that a relationship will validate your attractiveness. A big part of me wanted to be that girl who can get any guy she wanted but that wasn't me. I wanted a guy to openly express that they liked me even if I didn't like them just so I felt validated and didn't feel ugly. When you hear the expression you should love yourself before you love someone, maybe you think its b.s. I actually still hate the expression, but its sorta true. I mean I'm still insecure, but a part of myself likes me and that's a good step. You don't have to love your physical appearance instantly, but like little parts of yourself, like maybe your humor, your taste in music, little things. Take it slow, there's no rush.

dog, puppy, and animal image

One thing that helped me is just realizing what kind person you are. For example I acknowledge that I am one picky bitch when it comes to boys and that's ok. I hated my friends telling me this, but I think I hated it because I knew it was true. I realized that at the moment I like being alone the majority of the time, and I would hate to have to text my significant other almost everyday. I need my space and that's ok. People need to start normalizing being single teens or young adults. One thing I hated was being questioned as to why I did not have a mans, why is it wrong? Its pretty annoying because this question makes your situation seem like a problem when it really isn't. I want to get some of my Shii together before I jump into a sudden change in my life.

bitch, city girl, and girl image