Hey sweeties, is Anita here!!

Some days I find myself thinking that I have to improve my diet, exercise more, increase my self-love, be a better person, give more, etc. I have often forgotten what I already have, what I already do and what I have already learned. Today, I also challenge you to think about 5 things you have learned recently and, if you want to publish, mark me. I hope you enjoy mine!!

1| Talking about feelings

Talking about what I'm feeling and how people and situations make me feel was very important. First, I used to keep everything to myself and create paranoid situations in my head. And the problem or situation seemed a thousand times bigger and worse. I kept asking myself: “why did this happen? Why do I feel this way? Because I? What do I feel? ”. When I realized that all of our feelings are normal and typical of human beings, it was very comforting.

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Talking about what that situation made me feel frees me. It takes away all the weight of guilt and incomprehension that I had on my back. Guilt that I often felt for something that I didn't even know what it was or that I hadn't blamed. Sometimes just the fact of speaking aloud what's been on our mind for so long, helps. I already tried to record myself saying what I was feeling and I cried talking and listening. It looked like someone else was going through this. And that person was wonderful and didn't have to feel that way. That person needed help. That person was me.

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For those who prefer to write, it is a great solution too. When I was feeling very angry about a situation, I used to write everything that irritated me and the hatred I felt. In the end I felt so relieved as if all the feelings I characterized as bad were now stuck on paper. I didn't want to keep that anger and irritation inside me or throw it at others in a killing way. So writing was liberating.

It is also important to think that we should not just talk about what we feel when it is something considered good, such as love, affection, joy, energy. Feelings are normal and common to human beings and we will never feel only the "good". It is good to learn to express what we feel “bad” too. When something makes us sad or angry, when we are out of energy or stressed. And I can say from experience that it really helps to realize that we are not the first or the last to feel that way.

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I have been using WE HEART IT to talk about my feelings sometimes. And it feels really good, mostly when people come to me and feel idnetify themselves.

2| To forgive

I have never considered myself a person who holds someone's anger or resentment. But I always tried to find an explanation and to blame someone or myself for everything. I thought that by telling someone that I didn't like those comments about me, I could be rude. So I blamed the person for the comments or actions and blamed myself for being who I am. Not long ago I realized that it was partly my fault for not specifying my limits, what I accepted and what I did not accept. For that person it could be normal and not realize that I didn't like it, because I smiled and pretended that everything was fine.

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2 Important things to retain from here are:

  • 1- There doesn't always have to be a blame. And always looking for an explanation for everything is just tiring and a waste of time. Life is made up of a series of events that do not all have to be right, do not all have to make sense or have a “why”.
  • 2- Establishing our limit is essential for our balance. So that we are not disrespected and do not have this limit crossed by others and by ourselves. Because sometimes we go beyond it ourselves.
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Forgiving is more important to ourselves than to others. Forgiving someone, for me, is synonymous with being at peace, of giving myself an opportunity to overcome and give less importance to that situation or person. Forgiving, for me, has more to do with me than with anyone else. I forgive because I deserve to be at peace with me. I forgive myself and I forgive others. Never from one day to the next, but with time, help, patience and a set of tools that we are joining with life's experiences. No pressure. With time.

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3| Keep your mind busy

I used to complain about all the work I had at school and how I just wanted to rest. I realized this year that none of the 2 extremes is good. Overworking is not good. Being too still is also not good. I was very anxious in both situations. I really believe that in life everything is not always in balance, but that it is important that the imbalances do not continue for long.

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Keeping your mind occupied with things we have to do and things we like and want to do is very very important. It helps us to better deal with everyday situations and problems that may arise. And that way we don't think for so long about certain situations that stress us.

In my case, I have always dedicated myself 100% to school and the fact of not doing a sport or anything that I liked and being part of a group, made me feel exhausted and feel that I was nothing more to in addition to my grades.

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I realized that thinking too much about problems and / or situations does not solve them. Maintaining a routine in which there is a mixture of things that give us pleasure and things that are “mandatory” is really essential. Obviously, it is not possible to control everything and that there is no magic formula or miracle “5 tips” to improve our lives forever. But as I said above, it is not advisable to turn a bad day or bad phase into a standard.

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4| I can’t do anything about past

I already know that everyone says “it’s easier to say than to do” and it’s true. But I say this without putting pressure. I spent a lot of time thinking about the past. “ Why did this happen to me? Why did you say that to me? Was I at fault for what happened to me? Why didn't I answer? Why did I go wrong? ”. The result was that I changed the way I saw things in some situations. But i also get frustated a lot of times.

I think it is important to seek help from a professional, when necessary, to help us understand certain circumstances and why we act as we do. But without exaggeration. Thinking too much about the past is not going to change it. In fact nothing is going to change it, but you can change the way you see it.

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Thinking that I couldn't do anything about my past at first stressed me and made me feel sad and helpless, but now it rests me. I like to think that today is the earliest day that I can start doing something, it motivates me. If I start drawing today, in 1 month I will be 1 month better. If I start reading today in 1 month, I’ve read more than today. If I start learning a language today in 1 year, I will be 1 year better than today.

It is about now, not about yesterday or tomorrow. As I'm always saying: no pressure. It's okay if you don't want to do any of that too. It's everything OK.

The past is like the chapters of a book that we have already read. We know what is written there, we can reread it, and we can even change the way we had understood it, but we cannot go back to the moment when we had not read it.

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5| I’m not a god or a devil

On the internet, the bad side always seems to be seen more than the good side. It is easy to see everyone commenting on the wrong attitudes of others, and I think there are things that we should say in order to change the world a little. But many of these comments are just offensive. All the bad news made me feel that I should do something to change that and that I had a duty to help that person realize it was wrong.

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This was very revolting because it is obvious that I have neither the duty nor the obligation to help everyone. It is not even possible. Just as I can't expect to be perfect and never make a mistake. As they say “Not even God pleased everyone” so I don't expect to please everyone nor do I expect everyone to please me.

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I am not the worst human being in the world nor am I the best human being in the world. I'm just a human being, with my mistakes and my victories. With good days, bad days, good choices and bad choices. I am not to blame for everything that happens around me, nor can I solve everything. And everything is fine. Life is like that.

Feel free to DM me and tell me what you thought about my words.

Love you guys.


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See you next post.
XOXO, Anita