Hey everyone! First of all, big thank you for 5,000 followers. It really means a lot to me and I love you all so much. Second, how are your New Year's Resolutions going? Mine are... a bit of a wreck to be honest! I've been doing well with working out regularly but my diet has been a mess. It's alright though! Everything is a work in process!

For today's article, I'm going to share how to build your confidence. That's one of my New Year's Resolutions. I'm a very shy person. I hate attention- even just being stared at- and I turned red whenever people pay the slightest attention to me. I also don't have a lot of self-esteem. So how can we build confidence? Let's find out!

Compliment Yourself

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This one may seem a little silly and egotistical. But telling yourself positive affirmations- like "I am strong" "I can do anything" "I am smart" etc. - will make you feel assured that you are capable and valuable. Remembering your own self value is crucial to being confident.

Look the Part

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Although a confident woman does not need to look a certain way to be self-assured, changing your appearance can drastically improve confidence. For instance, wearing flattering clothes, doing your hair, taking care of your skin, and even wearing heels can all give you that extra level of confidence. A woman who is proud of the way she dresses often comes across as composed and dignified.

Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

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See that girl over there? The one with the 4.0 GPA, the super attractive boyfriend, the degree in Biology, the amazing body? She's doing her own thing. You are worth just as much as she is. Comparing yourself brings in two things: jealousy and doubt. Both are equally bad. A confident woman is not confident if she wants what other people have, or if she doubts her own worth. We're all at different places and we should seek to build each other up and focus on our own improvement, rather than looking at others for comparison.

Be Proud of Your Accomplishments

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There is a huge difference between bragging and arrogance and being proud of who you are. When you have accomplished something, like scoring well on an exam, getting into a college, or passing a new personal record at the gym, it is not bragging to share this with other people. You should totally be proud of what you have worked for. Bragging is when you try to make yourself look better than others for what you have and they don't have. And that's not confidence.

Get off of social media

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Social media is probably the number one place to lose confidence. In the age of followers and influencers, even just seeing someone with a flat stomach and 20,000 followers is enough to throw us into a state of doubt. But social media doesn't validate you, and much of what you see is fake. Take a break from social media at least one day each weak to detox from the comparison and negativity.

Stand up for yourself

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Secret: I'm a bit of a pushover. I have a really hard time saying no to people and sticking up for myself. I get roped into things I don't feel comfortable about doing or people use me for my skills without repaying me. When someone is using you as a stepladder, you need to call them out for it. Whether that means doing it directly or politely- "I don't feel comfortable with that, sorry"- you need to self-advocate and protect yourself from people that will try to knock you down.

Stop caring what others think

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I'm very guilty of this. I constantly am worried about peer pressure and what other people might be saying about me. Honestly, the hard truth is that most people really don't care about me and care more about themselves. Another hard truth is that people are likely to forget that most things ever happened. Imagine your potential if you didn't care what other people thought of you?

Don't let mistakes define you

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It's hard to go into something super excited and willing only to make a mistake and feel humiliated. Being confident means you have to let stuff go- a lot of stuff. Your mistakes are going to come. No one succeeds without failure. But you control your mistakes- keep going. They don't control you.

Have good posture

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Keep your spine straight, your chest high, your chin lifted your shoulders back. Having good posture instantly makes you look taller, longer, open, and confident. It's the easiest and simplest little trick to look the part.


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Every morning, smile at yourself in the mirror as your prepare for the day. Smile at the first person you meet. Smile at everyone you meet. Friendly people usually are popular because they look welcoming and approachable. A smile makes you look self-assured and happy, which in turn radiates confidence.

Be yourself

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This is the hardest step of all, especially if you're still trying to find your identity. What you can do is drop the mask you've been holding up. Be raw and open with your emotions. Share how you're feeling. Stay true to your principles. Learn to accept who you are, then to love yourself for who you are. You're stuck with yourself for the rest of your life. Make the most of it.

I hope you all enjoyed this article. Which step did you find the most helpful? Let me know by sending me a message!


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