I understood your laziness and no apologies, even after u hurt me,
I understood your manners even if they weren't like Mr Prince charming,
I understood your lack of cheesy flirtatious words, I understood when I wished u to hold my hand when we went out for dates but you didn't..
I understood when I would have to somehow manage to get u to say u miss me...
I understood when u would jokingly ask me to marry rich handsome men but yourself, while u never properly proposed or asked to marry you and spend our lives together, instead say that this wasn't planned anyways... and we will marry anyways...
I understood when u compared hugs with shit and made lame jokes and called my sincere conversations lame and dragging, even though I remember you when I had work on my head, and shit to deal with, when I was in pain yet I still needed you by my side.
I missed u in between seeing cases and in the midst of my course or a session....not because I was lonely or sad, but you would pop into my thoughts and make me smile without me knowing..
I understood when you would give a single line reply to my long texts to you.
because I understood you and your feeling. I knew that's how you are...and I loved you the same
I understood that your life and career were more important than me at most times and that mine should be to me as well~, when you were too tired or stressed out with studies or duty, I understood, despite your yawns during our late night phone calls...

quotes, words, and silence image quote, quotes, and Swift image

I understood when you didn't look for my letter or try to search for it, coz I didn't send it the right way, but I would have searched until I found any letter sent by you... if it was dear to us...
*I even understood that you're not a man of too many words, you can't express things verbally but sometimes your actions convey your feelings for me... but sometimes they don't, I needed to know and hear what you what you really felt but instead you would keep quiet and make biting remarks and so would I*
I understood that you were too busy to know my schedule despite being with me all the time, when it had been the same since 5 months or so, even though we lived together, I knew when u had Pts but you never wanted to know mine... while others far away would already knew when I had pts or work or course, before me telling them.... but I still knew yours, because those things did matter....

But was I wrong? Was I blinded by my own obsession and my fear of being abandoned emotionally and in life.... fear of another failed relationship...?
I understood you. You said you understood me... enough that your hair turned gray!~
you said u understood me, that I would never be satisfied with you, That I would always just argue and bicker with you, ...?
Is this how you really understood me?

Temporarily removed change, enough, and forgive image
My love, my sincerity, my heart.... what I wouldn't do with you or for you... is this what I meant to you!

Did u really understand my simple heart, a heart that just wanted your wholehearted love towards me, a love that couldn't be shaken, a faith that couldn't be broken, and a bond too strong to be ripped apart? If u ever read my letter in my blue envelope that never found its way, you would know just how much I wished you well in life...


My Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/artistdoc_bali/