Sometimes I find myself dreaming and thinking of her.
She's my best friend (let's call her M) and she's in a relationship with my best boy friend (let's call him L).
But now I wonder if like her, I mean, in the way M likes her. I don't know, it's so complicated, it's not like when you're in love with a boy and that's because it's the first time for me that i fall in love with a girl. Wow, so strange to see it written so clearly. "I fell in love with a girl", so strange for me to say it. I thought i liked boys, but maybe i like both, i don't know, damn it, I'm so fuckin' confused.

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Where did my rational thoughts go? I thought I had my feelings under control, but now I'm losing that precious control. I don't know even why I'm writing it down on an article, I think no one would ever be interested in reading this.
But if you're still reading it, thank you, thank you very much. Now let's go on.
I really need to clarify everything, I'm not sure if what I feel for M is love.
She's beautiful to me, she's gentle, funny, clever, sensible, a little stubborn and sometimes bossy, but I find her so cute and even quite attractive. Fuck off.

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What should I think? I can't tell her that I like her, she's in love with my friend L! And what should I tell him? That I suddenly fell in love with his girlfriend aka my best friend, but they love each other so I want them not to worry and continue being together? What the hell, this is so complicated, I wish I didn't have these problems.

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