Hi everyone, I hope you're having a nice week so far.

Today I'm going to write about something that has been on my mind for a while but I never really got the time and inspiration to write about it, so I'll give it a chance this time.

By the title you already figured out what I'm going to talk about in this article: Marriage.

I also wrote about other subjects like relationships:

And anxiety:

So, here I go, I guess...


Marriage

Let's start talking about marriage then. What's the meaning of it? For a few years I've been debating with myself and other people why do they get married or want to.

Most of them tied the knot because that was simply a goal in their lives, just like the ones who want to do it in the future. Maybe because for a lot of people getting married and have a beautiful ceremony such a wedding is the next obvious decision after being in a relationship with someone for a while (it can be months or years).

Some people also want to get married to just simply move out their parents house. Others because they think the time and age are motives to do it so. To justify the fact that you want to go live with the person you love. Or just because they want to start a family and there's still the idea that for that to happen the wedding needs to take place.

I don't know, there are a lot of reasons why people get married. Because of religion, family, self-goal, etc. I don't think it matters, I just think that people should take a marriage seriously because it's something that's really easy to enter and hard to leave.

Since I entered my 20's I have been thinking about it. I mean, I have been to a couple of weddings before and I still don't get why people need to actually marry. A wedding can be very expensive, stressful, with lots of preparation and did I already mention expensiveness?

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I mean, is it really necessary to spend so much money on the ceremony?

Is it really necessary to get married? I mean, you can be with someone and spend your life with them without the need of a marriage, right?

I am a woman in my 20's but since a very young age I knew I didn't want to be married one day. It was just never an option for me. When I was a little girl I never dreamed about the perfect wedding, me going down the aisle, the person I loved there waiting for me and all that.

Some people say that I think like this because I haven't found my person yet or that I'll change my mind one day just because. I know that won't happen because I know what I want, and I also know what my goals in life are: and marriage is not one of them for damn sure.

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lol, moving on...

I understand why others want to do it. But what I want is for other people to understand as well that getting married is not duty.

Being a woman and being slowly approaching the ages between 25 and 30 I can actually feel the weight of marriage in a society, especially for women. And I just don't get why being a woman is automatically a synonym of the necessity or desire to be married. I mean, just because I'm a woman that doesn't mean I want to be married.

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I know there are differences, like culture and religion and some of them actually require the act of getting married. Where I'm from marriage is not a must but it's definitely a goal in a lot of people's lives.

The actual question is: do you want to get married because that's actually a thing you really want to do for yourself, or you will do it because you feel pressured to?

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There are a lot of questions floating through my mind, like:

  • Is marriage a necessity?
  • Is it really necessary to get married to prove your love and devotion?
  • If a relationship is not enough to show your feelings and loyalty, will marriage actually be the proof of that?
  • Do women want to or feel like they have to get married one day to be more socially accepted?
  • Will marriage truly bring you happiness?
  • Why do people feel the need to sign papers to prove their intentions?
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I get that there are a lot of people happy in their marriages, and they feel it was a blessing for them. But we also have to speak about the people who are not happy in their marriages, and that a lot of them find themselves in that situation because of reasons like these:

  • They married because they felt the pressure to do it, either by family, society or partner.
  • They have been in a relationship for a few years and decided that marriage was the next step. But after doing it things started to go wrong when everything seemed fine before.
  • Finances is a big issue. People argue because of money all the time and don't seem to find the resolution.
  • Jobs and careers can mess up everything, because of shifts, busy schedules, traveling, etc.
  • And kids can also bring a lot of pressure and responsibility into a marriage as well.
  • Also domestic violence is a reality, it has always been. And we don't talk about it much. We need to speak more about this.
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What I really want to say it that: if you want to get married, fine, do it; and if you don't want to, that's also fine.

I just think that we are in the XXI century and people, especially women should be free to make their own decisions and don't feel ashamed for not wanting to get married. Let's respect each others decisions.

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JudithTR

Thank you so much for reading. If you enjoyed it leave a ♡ or a reaction!