I have not been depressed since I was 17, so I thought. I guess I started to be happy and get my mind off of all the sadness, then college hit. I am in college, in a city where I know nobody, and not even my roommate wants to be friends. I started out this year with a new outlook on things. I was so excited to become the person I have always wanted to become; happy and bubbly, loud even. I was ready. I even made a couple friends the first week. We exchanged numbers and said we would meet up later that evening. So an hour comes by, and nothing. So I text only to get a reply that states, "Hey yeah we already went". What did I do to not be good enough? Why am I not as cool as those girls? Did I say something wrong? No, I just gave them the wrong phone number. I looked like an absolute idiot. They didn't mind though, and asked to hangout for a little bit that evening. I dropped the bomb and said I was bisexual. "You threw me off when you said that. Are you like, attracted to us right now?" Obviously not. I am in a relationship with an amazing girl. After that day, I tried to be social and nice towards them. Every single time, they would blow me off. So I decided to do stuff on my own. I am not doing well on my own, I am a complete and total mess. I have panic attacks too much. At least one everyday. And my depression, HA that never left. Jokes on me for thinking I could be cured by some little pill. Hell no. That doesn't help. I just needed a place to vent, I don't expect anyone to read this. But thank you if you made it to the end. I hope your life is easier than mine.