Friday, September 6, 2019 | 12:12:08 PM

Dear M, my big brother:

I miss you.
I miss the thought of you always being here.
I miss you being here for me.
Never leaving, always there.
But that’s not possible, I guess.
You left, and you’ll never come back.
I’m not even sure if I’ll see you again.
I hope I do.

I miss you.
Why did you have to die?
Because now, sometimes, I want to die too.
Just like you.
I always looked up to you, you know.

I miss you.
When I look at the old scrapbooks and see both of us together, I cry.
Why can’t it still be like that?

I miss you.
I only have one thing of yours.
C and my mom made your shirts into pillowcases.
I got the Dallas Cowboys one.
It was worn, and soft.
You must have loved that shirt.
I like to hug that pillow when I go to sleep, and bury my face in it when I’m crying.

I miss you.
And I love you.
I like to think that I have some features that you did.
My hair is a bit strawberry-colored, kind of like your gingery hair, when you were younger.
I think our eyes are the same shape too.
But more importantly, I still carry you with me in my heart.
Some days, it’s easy.
But other days, it’s a really heavy load.

I miss you.
Love, your little sister, Kel

P.S.

blue, quotes, and moon image quotes, goodbye, and hello image quotes and love image childhood, death, and forever image
These are some quotes that made me think of you.
suicide, die, and please image hope, suicide, and suicide prevention image hope, pain, and suicide image awareness, suicide prevention, and awareness ribbons image
Sometimes I wonder if I could have helped you... I'm sorry. I hope that if anyone feels like they have no one to turn to, they can call the National Suicide Hotline Number at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).