Friday, September 6, 2019 | 12:12:08 PM
Dear M, my big brother:
I miss you.
I miss the thought of you always being here.
I miss you being here for me.
Never leaving, always there.
But that’s not possible, I guess.
You left, and you’ll never come back.
I’m not even sure if I’ll see you again.
I hope I do.
I miss you.
Why did you have to die?
Because now, sometimes, I want to die too.
Just like you.
I always looked up to you, you know.
I miss you.
When I look at the old scrapbooks and see both of us together, I cry.
Why can’t it still be like that?
I miss you.
I only have one thing of yours.
C and my mom made your shirts into pillowcases.
I got the Dallas Cowboys one.
It was worn, and soft.
You must have loved that shirt.
I like to hug that pillow when I go to sleep, and bury my face in it when I’m crying.
I miss you.
And I love you.
I like to think that I have some features that you did.
My hair is a bit strawberry-colored, kind of like your gingery hair, when you were younger.
I think our eyes are the same shape too.
But more importantly, I still carry you with me in my heart.
Some days, it’s easy.
But other days, it’s a really heavy load.
I miss you.
Love, your little sister, Kel
P.S.
