this is my new letter series towards people who are or no longer in my life. for safety purposes, I will not state their name. I will give each person a fake name.

Dear Hailey,

I miss you. but I'm glad you're out of my life.

you were my friend when no one else wanted to be and I'm so grateful that I had you in my life. but as time went on a learned how toxic you were.

you had family issues and I tried my best every day to make sure you were smiling. I helped you when you were about to lose it on others. I did everything I could to make you feel better because it hurt me to see you in pain.

you wrote me countless letters about how grateful you were to have me in your life and that I helped you. but never once did you say it to me in person.

you even mentioned in a letter, about a photo we took, holding each other's hand, saying how we have such a tight grip on each other and that you never wanna see me drift away. that you're afraid I will leave you.

I never left. you did. I wasted an entire year and a half of my life trying to make sure you were happy and doing ok. when we entered high school, I didn't know that friends would split apart. I especially didn't know we would.

you had a toxic friend. I recommended that you stopped hanging around her because she always hurt you. then I had to take care of you.

you started arguing with me on the daily. about ridiculous things. you became the reason I was sad every day.

you were scared I was going to leave you. but I was never scared you were going to leave me because I thought I knew you. in the end, you ended up leaving me.

it's been two years now since I've deleted your number, every photo we ever had, unfollowed you on all social media. I still have the letters. I felt like I had to keep those because even though you were toxic. you were still in my life.

I saw you today. I stood behind you, waiting for my other friend. you noticed me, thinking you were blocking me, apologized and moved. you didn't say anything else after. I was going to ask you how you were doing, and how classes were. but you turned your back and started a new conversation with someone else. It sucks that I wasted so much time and money on you, just for you to treat me like a stranger. and that's fine. as long as you're happy. and that's all that matters.

anyways, I wanted to say thank you for being in my life. I will always remember you.

, heather