2019 started great, I got new work experience, met new people, had a fun summer and was surrounded by my family and friends. Everything was fine. Until I realized things around me were fine but I wasn`t. For a while now I have battled with mental health issues but this year it hit me harder than it ever has. Panic attacks, anxiety attacks and claustrophobia that started to affect my daily life. For me it has been hard to accept because I hate feeling weak, like i`m not in control of my own body and mind. Like i`m asking for attention or bailing from the most simple things in life because I can`t do them. But really it scares me, because I don`t understand why all of this is happening to me. I am mad that it affects me so much that I don`t wanna go out, go to work or just talk to my friends. I do feel quite alone most of the time. People have seen me having attacks but they really don`t know whats going on with me and knowing me i`m most likely to keep it that way. I haven`t even really told my family, but just being around them helps me. When having these attacks on the other hand I start sweating, shaking, my heart beats out of my chest and I feel like i`m going mad. And on the other, I feel uncomfortable, anxious, nervous and like i`m going to get a panic attack. Mental health issues are not easy and I have to keep reminding myself that i`m worthy like everyone else, i`m enough as a person and don`t ever let anyone's opinions change who you are. Most importantly always stay kind because you never know what struggles people around you are going trough. But for who ever is reading it`s okay not to be okay.