I Wonder
As I wonder, I wonder why
I wonder, why I don’t grieve
Anyone else’s mother dies, I see them crying
I see them willow, Instead without her, I am in a reprieve
So little time, So little life, so many people dying in front of me
I wish I could receive the message no one is trying to give me
but instead, I’m alone, wondering why, wondering who, can I be next, please?
Instead, I suffer, suffer alone, wondering what it's like to have a house called home
Maybe a toilet, many men call a throne
Instead, thrown from my home, again so alone!
I wander the streets looking for eats, looking for a place to sleep!
Never time to weep, never time to care, just enough time to meet the dealer, to keep from weeping
to keep me from killing, selling me the cure, keeping me stealing
I write in hopes to fix me, but I wonder if at all possible
Especially with every hit, I feel invisible, that’s not sensible
To you, everything is a variable and comfortable while I’m stuck in this insensible lifestyle
And probably belong in a psychiatric hospital!
I’m a criminal, with little principle, A lot of potentials, I’d rather keep it illegal, unethical to say the least
keep my inner beast, in the forest, subsist from reality
While I wonder what it’s like to be deceased
I’ve witnessed too much, noticed it all, dismissed everything
understanding the awakening, passing by my family,
Considering corresponding on the contrary out of courtesy
being friendly is silly when your whole family are bullies
According to history, I now know our mental disabilities are in fact, Deadly
I no longer wonder out of courtesy
That’s just me.

Written by SKJP