I don’t even know where to start this, since this is my first ‘article’ ever or first writing in this kind of way. But let’s just start with this question: Have you ever helped someone, just with good intentions, without expecting anything in return and that person didn’t even say ‘Thank you’?

I’m sure that has happened to a lot of people at least once. Well, to me lately, it has happened a lot more than once. And I’m pretty sure it’s not the last time.

So my main question is ‘How to deal with these things?’

If you’re a person, that’s really trying to think positive, not let bad energy get to you and just in general all about good energy, positivity, selflove, etc. Then these things can get to you quite hard.

Since I’m just in the beginning of process of changing my mind, the way I think and learning all about energy, the law of attraction and these things, I said to myself why wouldn’t I write about it. I’m sure there’s someone that can relate to that, and if anyone finds this helpful, then that’s all I wanted.

So now that I have made a little intro and explained my purpose, I can begin by addressing the issue. Let's just say, something happened - that something means:
I got into an argument with someone, I helped 'a friend' and they weren't even grateful, someone was rude to me, etc...
So what am I going to do now? I lost my focus, my mind is all over the place, thinking about all sorts of unnecessary things and my mood is not happy or chill, or anything positive basically.
What I need to do is Re – focus. But in order to do that, I have to solve the issue that's causing my bad mood. And the issue is my mind – not the people that I got into a bad mood for, because they don’t even know how I’m feeling and probably don’t even care anyway. So I have to work on myself, my thinking, my focus. Because sometimes, you’ll find out, that there is no problem, you just created yourself one in your head with your way of thinking. Well, I usually still think there’s an issue, but It doesn’t have to affect me if I don’t want to – because I have the chance and the ability to process things differently – we all do.

So one thing I always ask myself, when I notice that I’m getting upset or angry over something, is:
How does this affect me?

So here’s an example, just to clarify what I’m talking about :
- You help someone with work, maybe some homework (if you’re in school), a ride home, you lend or send someone your notes from classes or anything that could help them, and they don’t show just a little appreciation or don’t even say thank you.

And it’s not even like you’re expecting something in return, but two words as Thank you, would be nice. Something like that can obviously upset you or make you angry, and it’s completely reasonable why you feel that way. But since this is about processing things differently, we need to start seeing things from a different perspective. You can start by asking yourself a question, that I wrote before: How does this affect me?
So basically, an ungrateful person is just a reflection of themselves and not you. You already did your good part, with good intentions, but now it’s their turn. And if they decide not to do it, that’s okay too. You know why? Because your conscience is clear. This other person has so much more work to do on themselves than you.
Next thing that you can ask yourself is: What did I learn from this?
Maybe you learned, that you shouldn’t give so much of yourself to people who will not do the same for you. But this is a little twisted – so maybe you won’t help these people anymore, but there are other people, new people, that you don’t know that well. So are you going to say ‘No’ to each and everyone of them every time someone asks for your help? Probably not. So what you can do here, is that you can choose who are you going to do a favor (or help them) and with what. You can ask yourself what things matter to you and what don’t.

If the same (ungrateful) person asks you for a favor again, what would you do?
1. Maybe just say no - without explanation (but that’s a little harder).
2. If you say no, you can explain why – but be careful, that may cost you your good mood again, because you’re going to re-live those moments and feelings all over again. So ask yourself is it worth it?
3. If you explain why – You can make sure, it’s short but direct. That way you can avoid getting angry or upset all over again. And remember – you don’t have to say it in a mean way, because there is always a normal, nicer way to tell things. For example: Since I don’t feel we’re on the same page in terms of helping each other, I decided that It’s better for both of us to just stay as we were – coworkers/classmates/etc. without asking for favors.
That way you can clarify things without getting in a bad mood.
4. When is it worth it explaining to someone what bothers you? Probably when that person is a little more than just some classmate or a co - worker. Maybe to your good friend (but remember – good friends are always grateful and don’t take your time and effort for granted), or just in general someone who is closer to you as a person.

What you should remember is that:
Every experience teaches you something new and adds that little piece by piece to who you are and who are you becoming as a person.
The more experience you gain, more wisely you’ll be able to react – if you choose to, ofcourse.

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Maybe you’re a person, that has the need to always react on things, and that’s okay too. We’re all different and we’re all dealing with ourselves and our minds. But what you’re probably going to learn along the way, is that sometimes even if you react, it won’t change anything – in fact, it’ll make you feel even worse. Because you can’t change other people and the way they think and do things, but you can change the way you react. Sometimes it’s better to just let things be as they are, let certain people go, not expect people to understand where you’re coming from.
And when you get to that point, you’ll slowly learn that life is better lived when you don’t center it on what’s happening around you and center it on what’s happening inside you instead.

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And to end this article, let me just clarify one more thing.
Don’ get me wrong. If you are a good person you’ll probably still going to help other people and that’s amazing. What I was saying, was just something, to help guide you through different and more difficult situations, where maybe you’re not sure what’s right or wrong. This is just my way, that helps me to preserve my energy for other, more important things.
But still remember to keep doing good things, because everything comes back full circle.