I really want to free my mind and I know no other way to do it so here it goes... -
So this vacation I went back to my family far far away from here and it made me feel a lot of happiness just being there but I noticed that I wasn’t playing games and being fun with my cousins like years before... we changed. thinking back to the time spending there I’m like I could have done so much more stuff but there was like no motiviation for me to do so and I find that really stupid. -

my family always hypes me up even when I don’t look the best and this is something I also miss here. The confidence I had there is nothing compared to here. Here I always try to keep up a smile and keep myself decent bc that’s how I want people to view me... but I am so hurt inside that it just came out when I was there. I didn’t have to put up a wall bc they saw how hurt I was and I needed that.

and I know there are a lot of you who have problems and I totally get it it’s awful but I suggest talking to people cause I keep on bottling up my sad emotions and that causes me to not be able to cry out loud I only shed tears. I do need to say that pretending everything is fine made me think it really was and I really fooled myself into it but I am a happy person and I think people see me that way idk maybe. I’m not loco or something but i see it in people’s eyes when there is something bothering them and I genuinely care cause it’s such a bad feeling that just messes up your day,week or month OR YEARS and without people showing interest the world would be more bitter than it already is so accept help and give support. -

I really typed a lot

Izabela xo