'T is the season to start fresh!
Hi lovelies! Hope you're all doing good!
I quit my job last month and now everyone's asking me what I'm gonna do next?

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Well, one always doubts itself. Question here, excuse there, opinions here and procrastination there...
Working one year, studying one year, working again a year and now what? Studying again? People judge a lot, I ignore, because my opinions and doubts are enough as it is, I really don't need to add other people's concerns to that or I'll never figure it out.
So I've been sleeping a lot, running a lot, baking a lot, reading and writing a lot. It really helped, and it's my therapy. It helps me keep a clear mind, it helps me sleep better (even though it's still hard) and it helps me feel more positive and energised. It honestly makes me think better.
I figured, I've always been a dreamer, ambitious and expressive.
So I stumbled on this bachelor of three years in communications on the school I've been to last year. And I really feel like studying again, even though it doesn't come easy to me and asks a lot of energy and work. I need this. Because I'm stuck now if I don't study. Here in Belgium, if you don't have a bachelor degree and/or contacts you only stay in the sales business or horeca, cleaning, service etc... . And like I said, I've always been ambitious, a dreamer and expressive. I NEED a creative job, where I feel I'm growing as a person and learning and evolving. And that's just not gonna work in those branches. So I have to go back to school. Even if I'm 22 and I'll probably start in a class full of 18 year olds... . I need to do this. I need to learn and evolve as a person and also open up doors to make my dreams come true.

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You know all my friends and family kind of want me to move out in Ghent. But I could never imagine that. I've always seen myself move out to London or Paris or New York. But never here in Belgium. Not that Belgium is not a good place to live but I've always felt drawn to big busy, trendy metropolitans. I also kinda felt like I didn't belong here, I still feel better whenever I'm in London. I feel more free, creative, social, open. So yeah to do that, I have to get a degree to be able to have a better salary and opportunity to move there. All that whilst evolving and learning the things that interest me and still give me a chance to be creative and expressive everyday.

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So I'm scared. I'm working hard on being confident. But my gut tells me this is the right choice. So here I go again...

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I've had some low points this year, a burn out , two jobs that totally didn't work out and a lot of self doubt and hopelessness. Like the thought that says " So that's it I just have to settle? Life is just never fun anymore? And I can never do what I want? " It was tough. But I need to get out of it, 'cause it's suffacating and I need to prove it to others and set myself free and also I need to actually make my dreams come true because I refuse to believe that Life is that nightmare everyone's trying to keep me in. So we have our own actions in hands. We can actually choose, we are not actually stuck in situations. So hold on, we'll get there ! <3

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Lots of Love,
Sincerely, Mél.

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