Hey everyone, I haven't written in a while but I am back with more articles for this self Love series.

In life failures are inevitable. The only way to avoid failure is if you do nothing. So in a way failure means you are trying and for that, you deserve a pat on the back. Despite knowing this most of the time when failure strikes we feel inadequate and all the good things in our life are ignored and we focus only on what we failed to achieve. A case in point I recently failed my driving exam for the third time. At first, it felt very difficult but by using the following five tips I turned the situation around and am now back on my feet ready to get my drivers license.

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Tip no 1: Throw that pity party

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Yes, you read that right. It is ok not to feel ok after a failure. It is ok to be angry and frustrated and start doubting every single thing you ever did. Accept this part of yourself instead of beating yourself up for not feeling fine. Allow yourself to cry, to numb your feelings with chocolate and Netflix binges. I used to be the person that when things went wrong pretended that things were just fine, I didn't allow myself to feel what I had to feel. But believe me, that is not the way to go. When we don't express our emotions they tend to bottle up and they will eventually overflow in all areas of your life. So throw that pity party if you need to but remember at midnight the party is over, kick out all the guests, wipe the smudged makeup from your face, make yourself some tea and get ready to handle it.

Tip no 2: Reframe the situation

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This is easier said than done because the moment you fail, it feels like a big deal, but is it really? Not all failures are the same but most of the time we tend to inflate the situation. So much so we feel like our whole world is crumbling down while in reality, it is not that bad. So once you have let out your tears, anger, and frustration it is time to put things into perspective. Ok failing my test was no fun but it wasn't the end of the world, I could always do it again plus I had no rush in getting my licence, it was more of a self-inflicted deadline. Try to do this with every failure and most of the time you will realise it is not as bad as you thought at first.

You can do so by journaling about the situation or even talk about it with someone else and that brings me to my next tip.

Tip 3: Talk it out.

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There is magic in words and in speaking out loud. Find someone you can trust and tell them all about your situation. This will help you gain perspective and when we tend to speak things out loud they tend to sound way worse than they do in our head. Letting it all out will help you release it and the failure will weigh you less. Moreover, others can help you out with the situation and may have great advice on how to move forward. And let's be honest it feels less crappy when you are eating ice cream with a dear friend and laughing your hearts out. I know not everyone has someone to talk to. I had times when I had to deal with a couple of failures on my own but most of the time it was me who wouldn't let others help me. If any of you have recently failed at something and would love to talk to someone feel free to send me a message here on we heart it.

Tip 4: Learn from your failure

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I know this can be hard but give it a try. Make a list of all the things you learnt from the experience. At first, you might feel like there is nothing you learnt but believe me there always is. If you still come up with nothing remember that you have learnt how to deal with failure and as failure is part of life that is a great skill right there. The more you fail, the better you become at failing and thus the less you are afraid to fail and so the less afraid you are of trying out new things.

Tip 5 : Use failure as an opportunity for a new start

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Once you have cried all the tears, it is time to get back up. Evaluate your life, where are you heading, what have you achieved. Look at some new habits you want to implement and the ones you want to overcome. Use your failure as a motivator to get your life together. Organise your home and declutter, get back into a workout routine, connect with some old friends. Everything is energy and energy can change state so use the pain and transform it into motivation and maybe this failure was all you need it to get you towards the life you truly desire. So maybe this failure was nothing short of a blessing disguised as an old filthy beggar.

That's it for today. I hope this article helps you out and that now you are more equipped in dealing with failure. If you like this type of content feel free to follow me or my article collections.

Lots of love
Stardust
xxx