Parents always tell you don’t do drug never take drugs. But they never tell the most painful drug of them all…LOVE; it can be such a beautiful thing yet so dangerous. I fell in love with him not because I thought he was cute that was just a bonus, I fell in love with him because he had the sparkles in his eyes. The way he spoke was like poetry, he made me feel like i was his one and only and the love of his life. The fact that he made me feel confident and my attitude around him was on a whole other level. He made me start to believe love really could be real. From the first time we kissed till we would just watch the stars.
Though he wasn’t perfect, to me he was like an angel sent from above. I may have been in denial the whole time. I told myself if he ever left that it wouldn’t affect me that what ever we had was good. But once again i lied to myself and my heart…Those memories i will always cherish the kisses I’ll always taste and holding me tight i will always feel. We were a good match couldn’t he tell….Guess not.
I still remember those nights he would call just to tell me he “missed and loved me” or would check on me when i was sick. The fact that i would wake up in the mornings and i would always get the “i love you” texts. No, i don’t regret ever wasting my time with him; because without him i wouldn’t have learned what love felt like. i would often tell him why i loved him and how come i don’t give up knowing he wasn’t any good for me; but little did he know that we were meant to find each other. I have to say at that point in time i really let my guard down i opened my heart up just for it to be shot. I cant say i have a weakness but man when he came along who would’ve known loving him was my only weakness.
The days went by and slowly we started to put up a shield between each other and distancing ourselves. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and during that time all i could do was put a fake smile on everyday and then cry at night; crazy how i started thinking i would see him everywhere i would go. I honestly felt my heart drop and break and the worst feeling i think any could feel. Your heart starts to become heavy and it feels like it just falls and breaks, and you can’t do nothing but just lay in bed and cry.
I would think about him for days wondering what he was doing. I tried getting my mind off of him but everything i did i just wanted to leave and cry. We had something special our vibe was strong it felt like no one would be able to break it. The kisses were powerful. He made me happy, he showed what it was like to be loved by someone. The bound we had was something there was never a dull moment we could laugh about anything and have a serious conversation when needed.
All of this went out for about a year and half just to officially throw it all way for good. I love him so much and i miss him like crazy but at the end of the day he could careless.Love is a drug and the truth is as toxic as he was his love started becoming my addiction. So i say fuck love cause that shit can kill you without even noticing. Im crying and heartbroken while he’s laughing and smiling.