6:14 PM: "We need to talk about some shit." He said.

That sentence is trapped in my mind. I was debating how I wanted this article to sound. If I wanted it as a story or from my words.

But this is about the boy. The boy who I've spent time on writing articles for/about. The one that moved this summer after I gave him my first kiss. The one who I said "I cant ever imagine us breaking up".

He broke up with me. Again.

We broke up yesterday as in the 27th of August. It all kinda happened so quickly. One minute he's telling me that he would cheer me up and the next, He breaks up with me.

I admit, Before this happened, I was being a bitch to him but I blamed it on my period. I got jealous over a girl who likes him even know I know that he loves me and not her.

He said that it was fine and everything would be fine. I changed moods knowing I couldn't stay mad at him for long. He asked me about my day at school and I told him about it but then he asked if we could talk. I said "Alright what about it?" feeling that he would feel insecure about me finding someone better.

But I was wrong.

Instead he started talking about the distance between us, Since he moved to North Carolina and I lived in Virginia. After that he talked about how we wouldn't be able to see each other which I knew was bullshit because we would find a way to make it happen. But then, It hit me. He talked about how we couldn't trust each other because of the distance and how we couldn't see what each other were doing.

This hurt me a lot honestly. Knowing that he knew I would be loyal and not even look at a guy if it wasn't him. I just thought he was being insecure and wanted some reassuring because that's just how he is. He gets worried and stressed over the fear of me finding someone better and then leaving him. But I was wrong. I asked "So essentially, You're breaking up with me?". He said "Yes" and then, That's when I started to cry. I cried not because of the breakup but of how he could be so straightforward, He didn't seem upset at all over this happening.

I had to reread the texts twice to make sure I understood the situation. Once I realized that it was over for another time, I ran. I ran out of my house and Into my neighbors house and sat against their wall, petting their cat. In tears. I didn't think it would happen all so quickly.

I took a moment to rethink what happened but the more I thought about it, The more I realized.. "He's just a boy". I knew I was being silly over something that I knew was gonna eventually come to an end. I made myself laugh by making jokes about the situation. "All I see are a bunch of potential boyfriends" I said. Saying that makes me laugh now.

But if you want the truth. As much as it pains me to not be able to text him 24/7 makes me really upset. Today I kept checking my phone, Hoping to see his name on my screen to apologize for what he did. But it never showed up. But, Truth is.. I think I'm better off without him. Sure he was a great guy. But he would hurt me in so many ways. Mentally of course. Besides, He was rude to my friends and I was so blind and never realized how much of an ass he was/is.

I love him, and I always will. But it's time to move on. I'm stronger without him and I will get use to the feeling of him not being around and us talking all the time. I deserve better and I know that one day I will meet this amazing man who treats me like a goddamn goddess. Besides after-all, "You're just a boy, Baby what did I expect?".

Today 28th of August- He texted me telling me he still loves me and that I'm the best and that he apologizes for what he told me. I screamed at the sight but inside my heart was pounding from seeing those words. I felt full of energy but I knew that I couldn't take him back. But actually, He asked if we could still be friends. I said "sure!" knowing the comfort of at least not ending off on a bad note.

But I felt mad and sad knowing he wanted to be "Just Friends".

Ay but I'm moving on and actually.. I have my eyes on someone else. He is honestly really stupid but I love it! He's a tall dirty blonde with curly hair and he is adorable. Although I'm not sure if I have a crush on him or not. I've talked to him a few times but I think he already has a girlfriend. Who I think isn't the right person for him because she has dated literally every guy! Well, I'll get him one day. Hopefully! Although probably not..! I just gotta put an effort and not chicken out when I try and get closer. But overall I just had to vent about this. But I'm moving on and he is CANCELLED. I'm gonna slowly start to distance myself until I finally stop talking to him and let him go.