I always thought that self-love was something that wasn't important , something that is't really necessary. And I literally was so happy in my misery that I didn't want to change anything. I loved looking at myself in the mirror and thinking "You're Too Ugly" , "No One Loves You" , and things along those lines.
And to be honest I was way too consumed by social media , and I loved seeing other people talking about their success and I would spend the evening laughing at myself for the nothing I've done.
But this summer was needed , it was a wake-up call for me. I started thinking about why shouldn't I love myself ? Why is it so hard for me to actually try and do that? So I decided to give it a shot. Read a lot of different articles on WHI about self-love and self-care. Read endless self-care threads on IG.
And I figured out is that there is no actual recipe for self-love and that you could go and follow every step and you might end up unhappy. This is hard to talk about a little bit because it's triggering and remembering how bad I felt and the image of myself in my head and how insecure I felt -about literally every single thing-is utterly and completely humiliating and it makes me so sad.
By the beginning of the summer I was excited to try out some things that actually sparked my interest. I did yoga , all sorts of meditating and sat with myself. Thought about everything that makes me insecure and hyped it up.
Whenever someone called me overweight I would be utterly crushed but after I started self-love I became bullet-proof. Because the most important thing for me now is that I have love and respect for myself and I absolutely DO NOT need it from anyone else. You don't like me ? Good for you , I don't like you either. Doesn't mean it didn't hurt when someone said it ( crushes your ego a little bit ) but it's okay because you know what ? IT DOESN'T MATTER.
๐๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ !!!
I have been so caught up with what others think of me and I didn't want anyone to criticise me so I did it to myself before they did.
๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ฅ ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ญ๐ฒ๐ฅ๐ :
What helped me :
1 Cutting Toxic People Off
2 Loving myself , my body , my mind , and every single flaw in me
3 Taking a Break from Social Media
4 Quality Time with myself , family , friends , people you care about
5 Absolutely Focusing on Myself
Did I ever slip ? Of course , but I didn't stop , and to be honest it's a constant battle with me, myself and I. I cried A LOT , shed tears like the Niagara Falls , but it's worth it because now I view myself differently , I think I'm way prettier now than I did a 4 months ago.
Stronger even , with a different mindset. So , if you're waiting for a sign , here it is. Love yourself , treat yourself , cry , get up , wash your face , cry more , work for what you want. And if you ever , ever , ever needed someone to talk to I'm here , I've been there and I will understand you. So go ahead use this as a weapon. I love you. You matter.
sorry this is a little long I just had to let it out
