(A part of my mind pt.2)
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The feeling
The feeling of hopelessness
The feeling of neverending pain and suffering
The demon
That I thought I had lost
But I catch a glimpse of him every now and then
He leaves an essence trail
Essence,
Of self-hatred and the fear off never being content with myself
That essence has mixed with my oxygen
I now breathe the essence of a demon
Unknown why...
Why can't I just be okay with myself?
Why was I put into the tunnel of struggle?
I've dug at my skin until it bled
Ripping at my flesh
Hurting myself,
seems to know the answers
My weak and tired body tightly grabs the
tail of the thought of me maybe receiving the answers
----
There are rare occasions of me not struggling
Me being okay with just me
Not having a chain around my wrists while being drag around the dirt and mud by my demons
Bliss
Contentment
Everything I could ever ask for
That feeling keeps me going
Because when my fire is burning while simultaneously being suffocated by water
It stops
It stops hurting
I am still aware of my bleeding wounds but
It okays
They will heal
Unfortunately, this feeling doesn't last long
It's just a peek of how great my life can be
How great my mind truly is
No longer a tool just to hurt me
But
At the same time
My demons will cover my eyes
So I can't see the light; the positivity
Even though it hurts
Living just to feel agonizing pain
There's still hope
Even if I just caught a glimpse of it
It was real
It is real
It was there
It is there
I can do this... It won't always be suffering
'It's going to be okay, babygirl'
-Fal ❤️
