(A part of my mind pt.2)

----------

The feeling

The feeling of hopelessness

The feeling of neverending pain and suffering

The demon

That I thought I had lost

But I catch a glimpse of him every now and then

He leaves an essence trail

Essence,

Of self-hatred and the fear off never being content with myself

That essence has mixed with my oxygen

I now breathe the essence of a demon

Unknown why...

Why can't I just be okay with myself?

Why was I put into the tunnel of struggle?

I've dug at my skin until it bled

Ripping at my flesh

Hurting myself,

seems to know the answers

My weak and tired body tightly grabs the

tail of the thought of me maybe receiving the answers

----

There are rare occasions of me not struggling

Me being okay with just me

Not having a chain around my wrists while being drag around the dirt and mud by my demons

Bliss

Contentment

Everything I could ever ask for

That feeling keeps me going

Because when my fire is burning while simultaneously being suffocated by water

It stops

It stops hurting

I am still aware of my bleeding wounds but

It okays

They will heal

Unfortunately, this feeling doesn't last long

It's just a peek of how great my life can be

How great my mind truly is

No longer a tool just to hurt me

But

At the same time

My demons will cover my eyes

So I can't see the light; the positivity

Even though it hurts

Living just to feel agonizing pain

There's still hope

Even if I just caught a glimpse of it

It was real

It is real

It was there

It is there

I can do this... It won't always be suffering

'It's going to be okay, babygirl'

-Fal ❤️