S,
you and i,
we were everything to me. from the moment i spilled my mind out to you, you were that person. the person i could always lean on, the one i prayed to god for. you were my soul.
it all seems so blurry these days. like I have to glance at old photos to convince myself you were ever even there. do you think i'll forget it? forget the movie nights, the pleasant aching in my chest when we laughed, the gemstones in your eyes when we talked about the world we'd take on as adults? i'm afraid i will.
losing you was the lowest point in my life. i spent days with runny makeup and red eyes, all for what? for the memories to come back and make me cry all over again?
sometimes I let myself neglect how I should be loved. because with you, i was loved right. new people come along into my life and treat me differently, and in those moments i realize i have forgotten what it feels like to be loved right. ; to be loved by you.
it's been almost five months since the day you told me it was over. a friendship i thought was so sweet and so big ended in a matter of seconds with no resuscitation.
the thing is, we didn't need any reasons to be each other's "always", we just were. but when the complications arrived, the reasons came to be, and the repercussions of what I thought wouldn't destroy our friendship, in fact did.
you told me you'd always love me even though we had to part, but the last time i felt your love was long, long ago.
S,
for you, there are too many words.

-amber
(hope you guys liked this more personal article. I've been seeing some older articles titled "letter to my best friend" and I felt compelled to write to my ex best friend)