Hey!

Long time no see. How are you doing? What's new? I missed you!

My inbox is currently overflowing from your messages and I try my best to get back to each and everyone of you (even if I already struggle to answer to my real-life friends within 2 to 3 business days maximum ... whoops). Anyway, I recently had an epiphany when I was talking to one of my friends about why I hadn't written anything in such a long time, even though I have time now that I'm on summer break and only have to study for two exams I'm going to take in September.

school, study, and college image

So, I will summarize what I realized in the following three main points:

  • I'm a crybaby. No, really. For example, I tried to get deeper into the Austrian meat industry to include some facts and stories into an article on veganism I was working on and I literally cried for two hours straight. Picture me, looking up stuff (that affects every living being on this planet and is inevitably a topic one has to deal with in their life) crying over animals that I never even got to meet in real life, uncontrollably sniffing and sobbing for two whole hours. I mean, if it wasn't so sad, it would almost be comical. And you know what I did? I used my mental health as an excuse to stop looking into all climate change related topics alltogether. I said and thought things like "Oh, you know, I need to #selfcare and put ME first and think about what effect those topics have on ME!" Seriously, how self-centered and egotistical am I if I can't even deal with the reality of what is currently happening on this planet. And ignoring those issues won't help anybody. Therefore, I need to finally suck it up and not fall into the trap of glorifying the current self-care-trend in order to feel better about my poor judgement.

[I know this paragraph may seems very harsh and self-critical, but I needed to get those thoughts out here to hold myself accountable if I ever replicate this behaviour in the future. Still, it is okay to take one step back if you feel overwhelmed by certain issues, but it is definitely not okay to drop everything as soon as it gets a little harder than expected.]

  • I also underestimated my own mental capacity to follow through with what I had promised to you. I said (and I quote) that: "this summer I will be devoting every bit of free time I have to gather information, research facts, study books, documentaries and articles, summarize studies, diagrams and statistics to make them more understandable and search for contagious and thought-provoking ideas - and ultimately, I am going to share everything I find on my blog (https://bluebayoublog.wordpress.com/) to offer you a place where you can easily access everything you need to know about climate change and what you can do to live as sustainably and environmentally friendly as possible" ... Now, the question is: Am I actually insane? How did I imagine to sit on my laptop 24-7 to provide the best environment-blog in human history when I can't even commit to do daily 10-minute-reflections for longer than two consecutive days. So, I want to sincerely apologize if I let you down by promising those unrealistic things. Which also ties into my next point:
  • It's exhausting to write about such important topics such as climate change, veganism, ethical clothing, zero waste, and so on. It a lot of time and effort to double-check facts, find fitting resources and even coming up with original content, especially when you are a low-functioning, highly-procrastinating perfectionist. So, hats off to everyone who puts in the work to make our world better and more practicable, as the authors of the following articles:

Moral of this story: 1. I have to learn the difference between the borders of my comfort zone and my personal boundaries; 2. I shouldn't promise something without having an actual plan on how to follow through with it; 3. It's time to stop talking about what I am going to do and actually start doing the stuff I want to do.

girl, book, and moon image

For everyone who wants to keep up with the trials and tribulations that this blog entails, feel free to head on over to my page and, if you want, leave me a message if you want me to cover any particular topic in the future (since I want to write more about stuff you are actually interested in and not only about personal stuff):

blue bayou
blue bayou
@blue_bayou  

I guess that's it for today. Thanks for reading, I'll see soon!

Song recommendation of today: Qveen Herby - Wifey

Have you read my last article? It’s about three inspiring videos on the environment and climate change - head on over if you want to take a look:

Check out if you like:

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Wish you the best, xxx K