I feel weird..
I can't express the way I feel correctly or precisely but the most vivid emotion currently and for the past week or so is fury? anger?
I feel so calm and happy when I'm alone, but once surrounded by even one person for 3 seconds, I get this aggresivness that I cannot only blame on hormones.

I just feel like I want to get away.
Leave.
I'll be visiting my village in the weekend and maybe being surrounded by nature and my grandparents (whom I love) will help.. maybe even meditate?
I don't know, I just want to be more tranquil and not cause anyone any feelings of sadness..

quotes, anger, and angry image hands, stars, and photography image
ever get this need of running away?

Maybe that's why I am in such a reading mood lol

I guess, it's just hard for me to stay positive lately.
While I also feel so unnecessary, like no one really needs me but I don't really want to dwell on that thought.
Damn you PMS!!

On another note, I watched (and already rewatched) and loved with every inch of my heart the movie Dead Poets Society and that whole Carpe diem philosophy has been swirling in my mind ever since.

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I want to make my life extraordinary..

But I feel like I can't?
Nothing special happens and I guess that's why I want Autumn to come and college to start so bad.
I'm trying to have low expectations but I cannot shake this fantasy of finally meeting my people and experiencing the world differently.., deeply...

Oh well,
I hope this isn't too gloomy heh

This is more like a diary entry than noting my progress but I guess it's a part of self- growth to observe your feelings and understand what you truly desire.
It felt good to write down my feelings, though, I do recommend it.

Thank you for your time.