Brave things can be fragile. I am brave because I've gave my all, without playing games, without doubting. Falling in love isn't stupid, it's brave, and it can hurt like hell. I used to say all that happiness you share with significant other is worth that pain at the end, I firmly believed that, until... I'm now not so sure. It's unbearable, and I don't even know which part, all of it. Realizing while you were diving deep into your relationship, other person was just on the surface the whole time, and you swallowed every reason they had for acting in that certain way. Because I believed it can get better, that he'll join me, until he said I'm in too deep now.

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I thought I was badly hurt before, but this showed me I had no idea what believing in someone to stay by my side could do to me. I really don't want to feel this pain, be this hurt. All those positive things have no power now, this extreme pain in my chest isn't going away.

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It got me afraid of my future, of my next love, of ever believing in someone again. This left a scar so deep in me, I'm not sure how to function properly.

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But I will try to give my best, and as the day ends, another one starts and it feels less heavy. I will need days, weeks, but I will focus all that patience and belief on myself, and I will try not to let myself fall for any other guy than The One, when the time comes.

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I don't normally dwell on the negative, bad memories, situations, but I am just trying everything to get rid of it.
I will fight for my happiness, even when others crush it.

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✘o✘o ,
A.