We've all got insecurities. We all tell ourselves things to bring us down. Because telling yourself these things is less hard than hearing them from others.
Even if rationally we know they're not true.

Temporarily removed

But doubt is our master in those moments. Because insecurities mostly regard subjective things and how can you ever be certain of something that's different to everyone?
You can't

But you can punish yourself for even considering such a thing.
So you tell yourself some even worse things to make yourself as unhappy as possible for ever thinking you're worth anything when you're convinced you aren't even worth the air you breathe.

quotes, lily collins, and to the bone image
So that's what you do..

Dragging yourself further down.
Let me rephrase this whole thing. That is what I do anyway.

The moment something even remotely good could happen for me i build up this wall of insecurities as security measures.
And that is the most awful amount of irony I've ever seen.

I wish I could say

I don't know why I do it

That'd be a lie sadly.

Because why does anyone need security?
I just can't let myself get hurt again.
And I know you've tried to convince me that this is meaninful to you too.

quotes, sad, and grunge image
It's just that believing that is scary

I haven't seen myself as a lovable person for a while now. So it is hard to believe you when you tell me you think I'm beautiful and you will not get sick of me.
Because even I am sick of myself.

And I'm not going to use one of those it's not you, it's me lines. That is true though, it is me.
But the thing is that I really love you. so I could never tell you that. I could never be that person. I could not be on that side of that conversation.

I am scared for life but I want to dive into the deep and I want to do it head first.
No turning back or backing out.

girl, water, and sea image
Let's do it

Head first.
I'll love you and I'll hope you love me back, truly, deeply.

This might just be the scariest thing I've ever done.
But I'm happy to be doing it with you by my side. And I'll never be certain. Never know if rationally I should be thinking this not that.
But I'll be okay, I hope. As long as you're soft and gentle.

Because you will get tired of me at some point, our make or break. And I won't make you feel guilty or bad for your descicion, it's yours and yours only. I know I'll just want you to be happy. But please if you must, be soft, be gentle.

My heart is yours. Treat it well, it's all I am.

To you, D my love