I was sitting on my bedroom floor drinking wine straight out of the bottle. I meant to drink tea as I always do but I found some leftover wine from a few nights ago and thought fuck it. I tried to read a book but I couldn't really gather the words and concentrate enough for the sentences to make any sense. It was all a blurr.

All I could think about, as clichee as it sounds, was you. I've been trying so hard to not think about you and the moments we've had this summer because we're still just friends and nothing more. As much as it hurts, I have to admit it. We could never be anything more.

I just couldn't risk the relationship we have right now. We are the closest we've ever been and I cannot lose you as a friend. It would break me. Suffering with al those feelings seems okay as long as I have you as my best friend. It just has to be enough for now. Maybe in another lifetime or another universe you could be mine.