I’m sure everyone has someone in their life that is toxic for them, and he or she might not even know it. It’s not always easy to figure out that your energy is being drained because of someone else’s negativity, manipulation, or dominance over you. Sometimes those who are toxic are the ones we loved the most, so our love for them could veil the truth from us.

First, what we need to do is: figure out who rains on your parade, who stop you from achieving your dreams, who crushes your hopes, and who hurts you the most.

And then, we need to question ourselves: is there any way to communicate with them about how you are feeling. Communication is the main ingredient in a relationship. How else do emotions, thoughts, and ideas come across? Tell whoever is hurting you how they hurt you, when they hurt you, and ask them why they do it. A lot of times the person is oblivious about ever making you feel bad. Sometimes they are not. It depends on the person. The key is to confront them about how you are feeling, don’t just expect them to know that they hurt you. I know confrontation is the worst, but keeping it to yourself can hurt not only you but your relationship, too.

Next, after you confront the person, you wait for their response. Does the person say sorry? Does the person understand and agree with your complaint? Does the person promise to change? If he or she does, then is that change temporary? Saying sorry is easy, but not repeating the same mistakes again and again… not many are good with it.

I’m not saying a relationship should be perfect. We all know that’s impossible. Every relationship has their ups and downs, but in the long run a healthy relationship’s net outcome should be positive. It only makes sense, no? You can’t be crying every day and then tell me you’re happy with your relationship. That’s like saying you aren’t hungry but you eat all the time. It contradicts the whole idea– I mean I know we all eat out of boredom all the time, but sshh, just go with the flow hehe.

Some of you are like: what? Who cries everyday because of someone?

There are actually a lot of people who live with toxic people and go on pretending everything is alright. I don’t feel that it’s alright for you to make all the sacrifices for someone– even if that person is someone you love. At the end, you really are harming yourself, putting your self-esteem to the ground, and it’s just overall going to bring negativity in your life. Is the love worth it when it comes with all sorts of mental– even physical– abuse? Toxic people clip your wings, bring you down from the top, and the limit your self-growth.

I know it’s easier said then done, but letting toxic people go from your life is a crucial final step if you want to live your life how you want to. Nothing is ever worth more than self-love, not even love from someone else who also gives you the most pain.

girl, glow, and heart image
Because your first love, should be yourself.