The second day back was the worst. The first day was numb. My heart was still in shock, so it froze. I walked the halls of Crooked-Lake Prep in chosen ignorance, still trying to decide for myself if I wanted to compendium the situation or not.

I was in a state of denial. I let instinct and past experience take me class to class, my feet trudged on the speckled tiles of the school building from an unknown force that pulled me through the labyrinth of halls.

The second day hit like a ton of bricks. The reality burned like throwing gasoline unto my cold heart and letting a match drop, watching it catch flame as it turned to ashes. Lynn walked these halls.

She had cliqued with different groups, flirted with boys, talked to the teachers about extra credit that could be earned all within the school. She had made her mark on these floors, she was enclosed in these walls. Her memory could not be drawn from this place.

That day, I felt as if the ground would swallow me, that Lynn's hand would each up from the drab flooring and take me to join her. It was almost like she was walking beside me, quiet with the content to watch me struggle through the second day back at Crooked-Lake.

And because I came back to the reality, I started to notice the pity that was being emitted from the students and faculty. They would tell me how sorry they were or how great a person Lynn was. But that's just it.

I could see that when they told me, they were not sorry that I lost a sister. I was the only one close enough to tell their condolences at this wretched school. The best option would be to tell Lynae themselves. Unfortunately, that option is unavailable to them.

That moment to me was heart-rending. I was the backup. To everyone but a few, I was just Lynae Larke's sister. You know, the one with the short hair and blue eyes? Yeah that one! That is what Lynne's groupies would say when talking about me.

But just because I was not as popular as Lynn didn't mean I held anything against her. In all honesty, I was used to the fact that I was Lynn's shadow in some sense. I was never as golden as he, even to our parents. Lynn was always the best at everything. Even though my mom would deny, I'm pretty sure she was her favorite. And now, Lynn is my shadow.

Her soul follows me, and I can feel it. It has been months since that November morning when I woke up to the distressing news of Lynn's passing, but my thoughts are still with her. It is as if we coincide together, even though her body is decomposing in the cemetery by the lake.

Both my parents and my councilors tell me that I am still grieving, that my memory of her will fade and so will the pain of this loss. I know that this is not the case for me, because there is nowhere for me to run from the havoc that wrecked me. It comes back to me every morning as vivid as ever.

Her rich dark brown eyes that can turn from soft to steel. They were beautiful, and now they pierce me in my dreams and in my thoughts. I can see her long bronze hair as well. Sometimes I feel like if I reach out, I might be able to touch it.

That I might be able to practice braiding with it like I did in my childhood. Now, childhood has been stolen from me. She took it back and I will never be able to resurrect it.

The hardest thing to deal with is her voice. I sometimes hear her laugh so I turn, forgetting that that her voice is mocking me. That she is not here.

I try to push her out and deny all entry, but she finds ways. It is so hard to forget, because I don't want to and maybe she doesn't want me to either.

Lynn had stumbled and fell from her platform, her "perfect life". She would not let anyone know that she was falling to earth. This last time that she fell, she did not get back up because she fell too hard.

People want to ignore this fact. My parents see it as a tragedy. If they opened their eyes to see past it all, they would see their faults. Now I am the second chance Lynn. A time to take notice and push their other daughter to strive for greatness, because just maybe I won't fall down to earth like Lynn did.

After all of these months, Lynn is now a piece of history that belongs to Crooked-Lake. I know that I have to live up to her, take her place in a sense. If I don't, this madness might just fester even more.

Now as summer approaches, I walk the halls of Crooked-Lake prep and try to forget her. I forget the flower crowns and her giggles and the goofy songs she would write for me. I force myself to remember that for last couple of years, she was a different person so it doesn't even matter. Nonetheless, everything builds. Her voice wipers to me and I sometimes feel her breath stirring my hair. But I know she is not there.

I can still see the physical marks she had left here. Her awards in the glass showcases. The people she had touched lives with.

Her fingerprints are everywhere, proof that she was here. It reminds me of my shortcomings, that if I try to become Lynn like people want I won't be able to reach her former position.

All I can say as of right now is that I am stupid enough to try. Try to be lovely like Lynn.

"Ms. Larke?" questioned my self-riotous pre-calc teacher, Mr. Como. "Can you please come up to the board and answer the problem? Since you were in a world of your own a moment back, I am sue you know the answers." My mind drew to a blank. I have no clue.

"Well?" Said Como.

"No?" I answered stupidly, gaining a couple laughs from the class. I felt just as dumb as ever. Why was I always like this? If I could just get all of my crap together...

"I will speak with you after class then Ms. Larke, yes?" Said Mr. Como, drawing me out of another one of my mental tangents.

"Yes." was my answer. I didn't dare to make eye contact with anyone, because I become red with embarrassment. What would people think of me? What will mom say? Why should I even care about what others think. The answer, because I do.

45 minutes of cornell notes later, and pre-calc was over for the day. The conversation with Como was the basic teacher-student lecture about "one must be prepared to learn and pay attention when coming to class" and all that other bs.

If I could only give him a piece of my mind. But I won't let myself. It would go against my nature to talk back to a teacher, especially with Lynn's shoes to fill. Who cares anyways. Math is over. Next stop, lunch!

As I walked out of class, I could feel a familiar tug on my head. "Ow!" I yelled, and I pulled her hair back.

"Why do we even do this?" I asked Celiese, my closest friend. "It's a ritual! It must be performed between us at all cost!" she proclaimed.

I met her when I was 9. Things weren't such a mess back then and all I had to be was just Lynn's baby sister and nothing more. Fun fact, Celiese wanted nothing to do with me when we first met. I persisted anyways and here we are, a messy friendship tied up in unorganized knots that can't ever be undone.

I have always been there for her, and now she is here for me. She is the only one that I have told about Lynn. She is my other sister in sense.

"What's for lunch?" Celiese asked. "Chicken and rice, I think?" I replied. "I brought lunch from home, so I'll find a table, okay?"

She gave me a curt nod and went into the lunch line as we entered the cafeteria. I stopped at the school mart at the center to buy myself a snapple, when I overheard two of the girls who work there for the DECA program talking.

"...that's so scary! And they are just letting someone like that into Crooked-Lake?!" said a redhead with long acrylics. "I know right! All I know is that He is from the West coast, and his parents moved over here to get him away from his troubles!" Stated a bleach blond.

I came up to the counter with a raspberry tea and my money. They stopped and saw that it was me. "Is that all?" said the blonde politely. I nodded, then paused. I wanted to know more about this scary new kid. Anything remotely strange in the town of Crooked-Lake was a magnet for gossip, and I was curious.

"Actually, can you tell about this new kid?" I asked. The two girls looked at me for a second then proceeded to tell me about him.

"Next year, we are supposed to be getting a new kid. I heard some rumors that he had some trouble back from where he lived." Said the redhead, as she was ringing me up.

"I also heard," said the blonde, "that he and his family are moving into the big house on the lake." Oh, higher ups.

The higher-ups at Crooked-Lake were just what they sounded like. Rich, mostly athletic, and popular. It makes sense. Lynn was a higher-up, even though our family was not super rich she still was popular enough. Just enough to be adored. She was the golden girl, but I feel like she was pressured to be that way.

She fell anyways.