Did you ever feel like the world revolved around you? You feel like you're living inside a reality show or something. As if they were all aware of you, aware of your steps and each of your actions, waiting for the slightest error to point you out.

That's my case, or it was, I haven't decided yet. And I still say it because I still get to see it.

Welcome

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I spent years trying to be a good person for my environment, my family. Being the perfect daughter everyone wants wasn't easy. I wasn't, but I tried, Until there was an event that knocked me down, it was stronger than me and I couldn't stop it, and there she was, I come as a thief at night, my friend.

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I slept, woke up, walked, slept again and woke up, and so every day, living with her was my routine. It wasn't easy, every time I looked in the mirror I only saw her, as if I didn't exist.

I felt that I was stealing my identity, as I wanted to seize myself, my thoughts, even the most hidden and guarded, I managed to bring them all to light again. He hurt me and friends don't do that.

The days turned to gray, the smiles on my face no longer appeared, my dreams collapsed, love disappeared, and that's when I realized that I had done what she wanted. He took over my life as if I didn't matter, as if I were an unemotional object.

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She managed to put dark thoughts in my head, and put sadness in me. It wasn't me anymore, now it was her, speaking for me, walking for me, breathing for me. I was afraid that someday I wouldn't want to do it anymore but I didn't know how to take it out, I got to the point of being me, completely me.

Sometimes she would let me see the light, go out and breathe for a moment, but only as long as a cotton candy in a child's mouth. I could see how she was hurting me but I couldn't do anything, it wasn't me anymore! I lost my own body! My own mind! I couldn't do anything anymore. She! It was always her!

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Each day it became darker, sadder and more painful, I felt how I played with my strings and handled them as I liked, I saw how I put false smiles on my face when I stood in front of people, I played at being me. He was very cruel, kept me a secret for two years.

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One day she managed to convince me that she already belonged to 100%, she told me that I no longer existed, that it was useless to try to escape because nobody remembered me anymore, that nobody loved me and that I had lost everything, that she was the only thing I had. I manage to convince myself to end it all.

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I tried, but I couldn't. I tried again but everything was useless, it couldn't cease to exist. Something encouraged me to continue, but I didn't know what it was, and that's when I realized that in such darkness there was still a ray of light. I still had the strength to breathe again.

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Discovered me and confronted me. I knew that I was afraid and I felt threatened, but I could no longer control myself at 100. Each time I could play less with my strings, I managed to cut them one by one, late but I cut them. I no longer felt it the same way, now I could walk on my own, I no longer needed it.

Smiles began to appear and my dreams rose little by little. I got to the penultimate thread and it was gone, she left me as if she didn't care anymore, or as if we were never friends. We shared the day-to-day and I still managed to get him away. He's gone.

Sometimes I get to see her, she visits me every time something goes wrong, we talk and even cry together, but she leaves every time she smiled at her, it bothers her that she does. She doesn't stay the way she used to, now I can see her leave.

And I understood that although it is no longer there, there is always something that is going to connect us, everything was within reach of a tear, as the Fairy said. But not only that, that last thread I never cut, I could not do it, because always a part of it remains in me. All of them.

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And even though she wanted to kill me, we're always going to be friends, because a part of her always lives in me.

For my friend
Depression