I don’t know to describe these things to you, cause i don’t even know how to explain them to myself. I cry about shit i can’t even speak about and my mind is a tangled cord, i don’t know where it begins, i don’t know where it ends, i just know it stands there, laughing at me. Fogginess surrounds my every inch and wish i could show you all the darkness inside, but when i try to find the words my mouth can’t seem to move, i can’t seem to form the sentences, i just stay quiet. In my mind, i don’t wanna keep screaming and crying and kicking, and i wish i knew what it felt to have a clean mind, a clean space to go when you're feelings lost, where all your thoughts and all your feelings stand as one, but as i cry in my sleep, i can’t even remember the reason why the tears began falling off my glands. My memory is like a dark, profound river, nothing to see, nothing to find. They said it’s like this, maybe i lost my way, perhaps i’ve forgotten who i am and i don’t know how to bring me back, and wherever i went to i hope it’s pretty, i hope i’m not suffering, and the sky is a color i can’t explain, and the animals are all singing and running free, water standing still, and nature is thriving with joyfulness and love as i become one with her, and my biggest desire right now is that i’m as happy as i used to be, and when i come back from that void, to where i went to hide from reality, i can remember what it is that makes me, me.