๐ป๐๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐, IโM MOVING OUT TOMORROW AND AHHH! In this essay, I will discuss the perennial effects of placing high expectations onto a literal child (It's me... Iโm a literal child)โฆ
Day 11: ๐๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ญ๐ธ๐ข๐บ๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ "๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ช๐ง" ๐ข๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต

What if I fail? When it comes to new experiences, a new job, project, skill, hobby, or whatever I tend to second guess myself more than Iโd like to admit. Iโm not confident in my abilities to do much of anything sometimes; if Iโm not already good at it I find myself questioning my own capabilities. Which is why I regrettably stay within the bordered circle of my comfort zone, way too often. What if I mess it up? These kinds of thoughts weasel their way to the very front of my mind, often preventing me from taking action, like accepting a project offer or finally talking to the boy I like. Itโs frustrating, to the point where I want to punch myself in the throat and scream โSNAP OUT OF IT!โ Send help because I have fallen into a perpetual state of not knowing what to do and letting it affect my life. I mean, itโs not that dramatic, but between you and me, it sure as hell feels like it sometimes.

Iโm trying to step out of my comfort zone, weโre taking baby steps. I donโt want to rush into anything and end up playing myself (letโs not bite the clown). Joining new clubs, volunteering, going out with friends more often. All things that are on my list for the rest of 2019 (cuz ya girl is sick and tired of not making the most of her year). So maybe I will talk to that cute boy I like, even if he thinks Iโm weird by now (I apologize, I know youโre not reading thisโฆ but likeโฆ sorry). Considering the new school year is fast approaching, I have decided to step out more and take advantage of the opportunities around me, because frick man I said I was here for a โgood timeโ and sitting around doubting myself is not a โgood timeโ mi amigo. Soโฆ even if I fail, itโs time I started having more faith (especially in myself).
๐ฟ๐ถ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐น๐, ๐ต๐
-หหโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
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