okay so I'm probably not the only one that's clueless as to what to do with their life but it sure does feel like it. I look around and see my friends going to college, getting a higher paying job, and you know just other adult things that I wish I was doing but I know things take time it hurts that when people ask me what I'm going to do and all I say is "I don't know"... the look on their face is never good but they say something among the lines "oh well you're still young you still have time" blah blah that's code for "what a loser ew no life" then there's a awkward-ish pause anyways this is all word vomit. I'm literally making a lot of grammar mistakes I know okay.. I know but that's the least of my problems. Actually I have so much stress but somehow here I am wasting my time writing a article about how stressed and how I don't know what to do with my life.. maybe that's what it is I probably will never know anytime soon since I don't have the MOTIVATION to know. Since I know I can do something if I really put my mind to it...so why cant I just put my mind on helping future me.. bettering myself if you will??? I don't know its like I can complain and complain about it but I don't do anything to fix or help. the only thing stopping me from knowing what to do with my life is myself. I'm the one putting all these obstacles in my way to avoid choosing but the thing is maybe I'm scared to know what to do with my life. Come on its a scary thought to have that at 19 you have to have your sh*t together for future you and even then future you might look back and be like why did I choose this as my career path or live like this whatever the case may be. I have friends living on their own or planning on it and im here living with my parents see its not a bad thing to still live with your parents and its not a bad thing to live on your own ( but it sure is hard to live on your own), im just saying that even comparing myself to that is considered bad to me in my mind. its like LINDSS YOU NEED TO DO THAT TOO!!!! PACK YOUR BAGS AND GET A CREEPY CHEAP APARTMENT RIGHT NOWWWW
okay so I wrote all that at around 1-3 am and even did a cover for it wow. I think I'm gonna turn it into a series me and my word vomit