I'm honestly so tired... I can't even describe what I'm feeling and why it's happening. It happened all so fast but also so slow. How I wish I just could disappear..
I'm tired of being the second option, tired of unstable friendships and relationships. Nowadays people only seem to care about you when you have something to offer them and when your resouces run out, they run with them.
It's actually funny looking back and realize I was never truly happy, never fulfilled with anything I have done with my life. I wish things were better by now but the years pass and I don't hope anymore.
Sometimes I look around and get lost... Lost in the crowd, looking at people with their friends and loved ones... And there's so much happiness and life and I'm just there staring, glued to the floor unable to move.
I tried so hard to fit in every time and for what? Always loved the others more, always there by their side when I was needed. I'm just tired of everything at this point, nothing can ever make me truly pleased.
And I know I should be thankful for the things I have and some of the things I've achieved... But sometimes that's just not enough, sometimes you fall and you just don't want to get up, you just want to lay there for a few moments...
I don't want to cry... To be honest I've been holding back my tears for a few days now and that's the truth. I've been cold and distant, like I'm made of stone and ice. Once upon a time I was a forest, now I'm a iceberg.