I know many of you are fangirls here, whether related to animes or series or kpop, it doesn't matter. But I don't know if you have a boyfriend, but probably you will have one in the future.I recognised some bad problems I have these days and you may understand.

The first hard thing after 2 years of relationship was to tell him about nearly everything. He had no idea I watched tons of animes and series back in the days and doesn't know a love kpop etc. I told him, and he said it is okay, he didn't expect that but he thinks it kind of suits me.

But he doesn't know, that I am a real fangirl.

He doesn't know, that my heart beats faster for some characters and that I have real emotions for these guys.

He doesn't know, that I watch amvs or fmvs or crack videos or that I have tons of collections of them(as you can see..). He also doesn't know, that I read fanfictions at night when I can't sleep and that I even wrote my own a few years ago. I even have an abstract picture of JK in my room, but he never asked who it is and I would be afraid to tell him.

I think he is a bit jealous even he doesn't know everything, but he doesn't know what it really means to be into that stuff.
And I really can't tell him. I know he loves me so much and I think it would really hurt his feelings, but I can't give him all of my love he deserves.

But I don't want to lose him, because he is at least a real guy in the real world.

But when I am sad I don't text him, I watch funny videos which make me feel much better.

On the one hand, I think it is good to keep some things personal, he probably has his own secrets, but so far as I know, he just likes football very much. But he will go with me in the new BTS movie. On the other hand, I think we have more trust issues than he know and I don't know what to do about it.

I think some of you guys can or will relate. If you want to text me, feel free to do so, maybe we can figure this out.

~Love, Maddie