“The truth is we are never truly happy in whatever state we are in.”

Honestly, being happy can be really difficult.

Happiness isn’t just about not being sad, it’s about finding satisfaction within yourself. As someone who has struggled with minor depression, I understand that it can be so hard to find that self contentment because I have been struggling to find it for two years now.
Here are some non-medicine ways that helped me to be happier:

1. Focus on what you ALREADY have
As human beings, we always want more. More friends, more money, more assets. Someone could be holding the world in their hands and still not be pleased. We are rarely content with what we have, and unhappiness can originate from greed. Take a look at your life. If you have clothes on your back, food to eat, and family, you are pretty damn lucky. It took me so long to realize that so many people don’t have these things and you should smile because you do. Especially if you can afford a phone or whatever device you’re reading this article on.

2. Understand how life works
As cliche as it sounds, life can suck sometimes. This article isn’t me telling you it should always be sunshine and rainbows because in reality, life has rainy days. But I realized that things don’t always go the way I planned and that is OKAY. You might even figure out that what you wanted in the first place wasn’t even what you needed. Just know that everything can seem bad in the moment, but in ten years you might look back and see all the good things it led you to.

3. Don’t associate your happiness with people
People will walk out of your life. Relationships and friendships; they deteriorate, sometimes without reason. Two of my very best friends just walked out of mine because things got too complicated and they chose their anger for the complication over their love for me. It wasn’t until I was on my bedroom floor with “waterproof” mascara running down my cheeks that I realized so much of my happiness was tied to the moments I spent with them. So I discovered happiness in activities. I love to paint, boulder, and edit so I found my joy in those things instead of friends and relationships.

4. Change
Now I’m not telling you to change your morals or the type of person you are. Just the smallest physical trait about yourself, change it. I just recently cut 9 inches of my hair off so now I have hair to my shoulders. I kept telling myself “new hair, new me.” Something about changing simulates the idea of you letting go of the past. I linked my new hair to my new love for myself and left things that were making me unhappy. Things change, people change, and YOU can change too. Change is good.

5. Ditch toxic people
For around 10 months, I had a girl who was best friends with both of my closest friends. She hated me for some reason I couldn’t understand and gave off that type of negative energy you can sense but can’t explain. Basically, she had a way of making me feel like absolute shit. When you’re around toxic people, it brings you down. Ditch them all! Surround yourself with people who make you love who you are when you’re with them. This was one of the biggest steps to my happiness.

6. Be selfish
We’ve all heard the phrase “if you’re happy, who honestly cares.” If you don’t want to go to a friends birthday party, don’t go. If you don’t like the way someone’s treating you, remove yourself from it. Allow yourself to put your needs first. You are allowed to care about your well being and do what makes you happy.

7. Don’t pity yourself
It is unbelievably easy to look in the mirror and feel bad for yourself. I had a friend who all she talked about was how much crap was going on in her life. When you pity yourself, you are basically accepting that you are unhappy and aren’t even doing anything about it. If you constantly remind yourself of how “horrible” your life is, you won’t be happy PERIOD.

8. Forgive yourself
I’m the kind of person who has a guilt trip when I don’t say thank you to someone who held the door open for me. We are all human. We make mistakes, and that is okay. Nobody is perfect. You have to allow forgiveness or you might beat yourself up every day for something you did two months ago. Guilt holds us back and can keep us from being satisfied with ourselves. Forgive and forget, literally.

Hope you enjoyed this article!
<3 amber