๐ป๐‘’๐“ƒ๐“๐‘œ ๐’ป๐“‡๐‘’๐“ƒ๐“ˆ, hehe so I donโ€™t really understand astrology, but Iโ€™m an Aquarius and weโ€™re supposedly emotionally challenged right?

Day 2: ๐˜ž๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ง ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต

โ€œItโ€™s okay, I know how you donโ€™t like to say โ€˜I love you'.โ€

My best friend said this during a phone call, at the time she was dealing with a lot of stress, and just needed someone to listen. I am by no means the first person you should go to for emotional support, I have no idea how to comfort someone, especially with my words.

Friend: My girlfriend broke up with me.
Me, restraining the urge to say yikes: Do youโ€ฆ want to talk about it??

I can offer a shoulder to cry on, a hug if needed, or simply my presence if you donโ€™t want to talk. I always let my friends know, โ€œIf you want to talk about it, or not talk about it, Iโ€™m here.โ€

Now, this particular best friend of mine is very well aware of my emotionally challenged self. Four years of annoying each other, you figure things out. She understands I donโ€™t talk much, especially about my feelings, but she can read the emotions on my face easily. According to her, and I donโ€™t doubt this, I have a certain โ€œlookโ€ that lets her know when I want to be left alone.

Which is why I let my actions say all the things I know I couldnโ€™t. It bothers me that I feel as though I canโ€™t say โ€œI love you,โ€ I have tried, resulting in either an immense wave of cringe or a phantom, choking feeling that barely allows me to get a single word out.

So when my best friend told me that she knew how I didnโ€™t like saying โ€œI love youโ€ I wasnโ€™t shocked, I was relieved. I could never regret the countless conversations we've had, of which I awkwardly tried to comfort and support her, they werenโ€™t in vain. In fact, Iโ€™ll continue to awkwardly support my best friends, because I love being there for them (even if I donโ€™t say it). For someone who can be quite emotional, I donโ€™t have a very good grasp of my emotions. After that very enlightening (jk, it was ranty on both ends) phone call, I came to realize that it simply wasnโ€™t the fact I didnโ€™t like saying โ€œI love youโ€, but genuinely found it difficult to. And Iโ€™m learning thatโ€™s okay, itโ€™s okay to not know everything, itโ€™s okay to be awkward, and itโ€™s okay to struggle to find the right words.

If thereโ€™s anyone reading this, I hope you can find some solace or inspiration from my awkwardness. This whole โ€œbeing in tune with your emotionsโ€ thing doesnโ€™t come easily to everyone, itโ€™s โ€” in my opinion โ€” a never-ending learning process.

love, anime, and pink image wallpaper image

๐ฟ๐’ถ๐“‰๐‘’๐“‡ ๐“ƒ๐‘’๐“‡๐’น๐“ˆ, ๐ต๐‘œ

-ห‹หโœ„โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ

๐˜–๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ญ ๐˜—๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ต:

๐˜”๐˜บ ๐˜ˆ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ค๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด: