I remember being a kid and being asked, "what are you afraid of?".
Things were so simple back then, I would just answer the dark, ghosts, or bugs.
Now, well, it's way more complicated.
Turns out I'm not a kid anymore, but I'm scared of more things.
Actually I'm afraid of everything.
When you're five years old, believe it or not, you can count your fears with your fingers.
And when you're a grown up you don't even realize half of the fears you have, but they're infinite.
I think it's because you're not allowed to be afraid when you're an adult.
You're supposed to be strong and brave, but our definitions of strength and bravery are wrong.

Today, I'm scared of everything. And yesterday I was afraid of admitting it.
And the day before yesterday I was afraid of seeing it. So yes I'm brave and yes I'm strong, because today; I own my fears.
I am scared of failing, of disappointing everyone that has hope in me, of disappointing myself.
I'm scared of love. I'm afraid of giving to much, losing myself and break me even more than the other person can.
I'm afraid of wasting my time, and waking up one day to realize I haven't even accomplished one of the thousands of dreams I have.
I'm scared of putting myself out there and being judged for being who I am, for looking the way I look, for acting the way I act.
I'm afraid of not being enough, for school, for work, for society, for myself.
I'm afraid of never fully and completely know myself and then be unsuccessful, getting stuck, becoming dull, being empty.
I'm scared of not feeling enough and feeling to much.
I'm so scared of what my past can do to me if I let it, I'm afraid I can't keep my ghosts away, I'm afraid I can't drown my demons.
I'm afraid of the future, the unknown, not having things in control.
I'm scared of my anxiety, and I've lived so long with it.
I'm scared of walking around and suddenly not be able to breathe because I'm having a panic attack.
I'm scared when I'm surrounded by too many people, but I'm so scared of being alone.
I am so afraid of everyone I love and care about leaving me. And I'm scared to realize that I'm constantly pushing them away.
And I'm still afraid of the dark, ghosts and bugs.

But mainly, I'm scared of myself. I'm afraid of what i can turn into with all of these fears.
I'm afraid I will never get over them, I'm scared of what I can do to myself.
I'm scared of being defined by them
I'm afraid to give up and let them win.