I'm sure many of us can relate to the fact that it is extremely hard to move on. Many times, we live in denial in the fact that we have healed and we are perfectly fine until the day we finally break. That said, here are some tips to help you move on be it from a relationship, a friendship, a mental breakdown, a failed interview or basically anything else in life.

Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn’t you — all of the expectations, all of the beliefs — and becoming who you are.

1. stop crying

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I personally identify as an absolute crybaby. When anything goes the slightest bit wrong my first and foremost coping mechanism is to cry. What I realised is that crying is perfectly fine but we all need to learn that we will eventually stop crying. Crying is just a way for us to get over the pain and it is a subconscious way for us to manage our emotions especially when we are overwhelmed. Crying is the only way your eyes speak when your mouth can’t explain how things made your heartbroken. So once you're done with the tears (trust me, you will eventually), pick yourself back up and start from there.

You have to stop crying and go kick some ass

2. listen to music

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Sometimes silence can be deafening, silence does make me scared sometimes. What I like to do whenever I feel like shit is to blast music. I either blast it in my earphones or from my computer. When I'm alone and feel like crap, music makes me feel better. It takes my mind off my problems for at least that 3 minutes and it makes me feel less lonely at times

Here is my personal Spotify playlist. It's basically a bunch of Glee songs which personally boosts my mood a whole lot, give it a listen! But of course, everyone likes different kinds of music, everyone gets high with different tunes. Make your own playlist and play it when you're both sad and happy.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/200VgHWNCjfMNRoEAC62IH?si=xutQop6uSia1ELVEpWeeqQ

3. do what you love

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What I find to be most helpful while trying to get over pain or while I'm trying to be less overwhelmed by my emotions is doing the things that I love. For me, writing is a huge breakthrough. I usually write on my notes on my phone but recently I started using we heart it again and I decided why not write some articles. It combines the 2 things I love - writing and photography. Most of the photos I use aren't mine but it does make me feel better when I see some aesthetic shit.

Find your passion, find something that you can do for hours and not get sick of. When your mind is clouded, turn to those options and stop thinking about anything else, just what you're doing on hand. When your brain is finally clear, you will be able to rationalise better, you won't be as prone to making mistakes done impulsively.

Do what you love,
love what you do

4. spend some time alone

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Every time when I'm feeling overwhelmed by my emotions, I find that spending my time alone is one of the most effective ways to calm myself down and gather my thoughts clearly. Spending time alone can mean doing something as simple as lying on your bed to read a book, it can even mean sitting in front of the TV watching Netflix. What I personally like to do is to get out of my house, take a walk in the park. Being enclosed in your room or house can be suffocating sometimes. Before you face your problems, you need to fight the battles you have inside. Empty your mind and fill it with the most wonderful and simple things in life. Only then will you be able to be strong enough to deal with your problems.

It is easy to stand in the crowd,
it takes courage to stand alone.

5. know that it is ok to feel upset

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If you go through a breakup or if you just lost a friend that you deeply care about or if you failed an interview, you are bound to be upset. Feeling upset when something doesn't go our way is just part of our human nature. When you search for motivational shit online, they always tell you that being sad is a waste of time and they are always cooped up on the idea that being successful in what you are doing = being happy or motivating 24/7. To me, that's bull shit (evidently why I wrote my previous article). Being sad is honestly a great thing, you grow when you learn how to pick yourself up from the mess you once was.

What is most important to me is that after you are done feeling upset and sad, you have to pick yourself up. No one can tell you how and no one can tell you when. This is a struggle that I believe is the hardest part about healing but it is also the most crucial. The most important but also the hardest part about moving on is having to pick yourself up from the mess you put yourself into and move on from there.

You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.

6. find peace with the past and find closure

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A huge part of moving on is having to accept what has already happened. You cannot move on with your past constantly being stuck to your back. Your haunting past is like an extra load, it may not weigh you down at the start but eventually, as you go on, it becomes heavier and harder to carry along.

Don't be afraid of touching your haunting memories, these memories often have a scary aspect to them that makes us terrified, but they often also carry along positive and pleasant memories that make us happy. Reminisce about the good times and be thankful for them, accept and let go of the bad ones and focus on the good ones. Only then will you be able to move on.

To heal is to touch with love what we previously touched with fear.

7. stop hating yourself

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If you truly want to heal yourself and move on, you need to stop bashing yourself up for whatever that happened. It may be your fault, it may not be your fault but IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE. What happened has already happened and nothing you do can change that fact. Stop bashing yourself and repenting yourself for something you have no control over and something you cannot change.

As per my previous point, it is ok to feel upset. But feeling upset is not equivalent to hating yourself. feeling disappointed doesn't mean you have to beat yourself up.

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.

8. meet new people

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A lot of the times what we miss from a relationship or a friendship is either the company or the connections. Although it is impossible to replace it, what you can do is find new ones. Surrounding yourself with people can give you positive vibes that are immensely helpful when you are trying to move on and heal. Meeting new people also means that you get new perspectives and more advice on why something went wrong. This gives you the ability to learn more effectively from your mistakes and hence it may allow you to find closure more effectively.

So loosen up! Go to some public places, talk to some strangers in a coffee shop or the library. Make some new friends.

The great thing about meeting new friends is that they bring new energy to your soul

9. block out the haters

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If what you're moving on from or trying to heal from is being discouraged because of people, BLOCK THEM OUT. Trust me when I say I know how it feels to have people constantly on your back and trying to bring you down. They throw insults and snide remarks at you while occasionally giving you those judgemental stares, hoping to see you crack. It isn't easy to block people out, I mean that figuratively and literally. What I like to do is to plug in my headphones and shut them out, stopping them from getting to me. To these people, whether or not they are throwing these insults at me, their lives go on. So why do I stop my life and get affected when to them, this doesn't matter at all? So as Miranda Sings likes to say, HATERS BACK OFF.

10. SMILE

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If you find it hard to do any of the above or if you feel that you still have a long long road to healing yourself, smile. When our smiling muscles contract, they send a signal to the brain, stimulating our reward system, and increases the level of happy hormones, or endorphins. In short, when our brain feels happy, we smile; when we smile, our brain feels happier. (yes I got this online, I'm not a scientist)

So just smile! It is easier to smile than to frown. Trust me, it is going to be hard. There is going to be a point where you feel like smiling is pointless or there is literally zero reasons in your world to smile. What I like to do is pop on to Instagram, find some cute dogs and instantly the smile pops out

You’ll find that life is still worthwhile if you just smile.
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Thanks for reading! I hope this helps at least one person out there reading. Moving on is tough but know that eventually, you will move on, you can heal. Healing doesn't mean that the damage isn't there anymore, it just means that the damage doesn't control our lives anymore.

read my other articles here