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In the Name of Allah

Hey WHI,

And Assalamu Alaikum (peace be unto you), to the Muslims reading this.

Hope all is well. Hope you all stayed cool and safe during the heat wave. Alhamdullilah (All Praise and thanks are to Allah), I didn't have to go out on that day and stayed near the ac as much as possible lol.

Anywho,

As promised, I wanted to touch today on a topic that hits very close to home for me, and that is the issue of insecurity. Now, idk if you read my last two articles where I touched on depression and anxiety, and if not I'll link them here:

But a common symptom I believe can be a root cause of both, well in my personal experience, more so stemming from depression, is that we all have something within ourselves that we don't like and struggling to improve in any way, shape or form.

It doesn't matter who you are really, Muslim or not, whether the insecurity is a physical or a mental one, its still the biggest one that most, if not all of us have. Its still something to this day I'm still tryna fight internally. And sad fact of the matter is, its something we'll probably be fighting for the longest time to come.

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Good news however, is that we can all start to work on it now, in this moment. But to tackle the subject on combating insecurity, we first have to look at the root cause of it. What causes insecurity, and if you're Muslim, how does it effect you specifically and how can you overcome it?

So we'll get started Insha'Allah (If Allah WIlls). But before I do I just wanna say, as I've done in my previous two articles, that I am no expert, doctor or psychiatrist. I'm simply someone who is giving general advice, and I could be wrong when mentioning certain things. If I insult or offend you in anyway I apologize, as that isn't my intention. This advice is for myself first and foremost. Also, those of you who aren't Muslim reading this, I will explain this in a way you can understand as well, all I ask is that you're respectful in whatever I mention and if any question arises I will try my best to answer if you shoot me a msg.

We good? Good.

Okay without further ado, lets start.

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Lets begin by mentioning one thing, like I said, no one is one hundred percent secure of themselves. Absolutely no one. Wanna know how I know? Simply for the mere fact, even if you seem like the most confident person in the world, behind closed doors it could always be a different story. I'm sure not too many people are willing to share what their insecure about openly. And by openly, I mostly referring to social media, where insecurity in this century is usually how it starts.

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I see social media nowadays as a false mirror. You're basically looking at all of these people with so-called flawless hair, skin and body. So when you look at them, you are brainwashed into thinking that's how you should be. Thats how you should look like, you need to reflect them. Then comes the question, can I be that pretty too? How can I be that beautiful? And then the ultimate conclusion you come to for yourself is that you can't, because you aren't them. You aren't pretty, beautiful, or good-looking unless I look like the false image I see.

Fact of the matter is, what is in the picture, whats on the camera, or in that selfie or cute couple photo, never shows whats behind the camera, as I iterated. They see how you and I see, that the imperfections we have are supposedly "wrong" to have. So what do they try to do? What do we tend to do? We create this delusion, this false image and proceed to tell others thats how you should be. Thats all it is, a never ending game of chasing an illusion of perfection. Nothing in this trivial world is perfect. Absolutely nothing. Life would be heaven if it was, which I keep mentioning, its far from it. There is nothing perfect about this life, including ourselves.

The only One who holds the title of Perfection is Allah Himself.

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So why do we feel the need to chase something that none of us can ever truly get?

"The life of this world is merely enjoyment of delusion." The Quran* (3:185)

(*Qur'an literally means recitation, which is the word of Allah sent to His Prophet Muhammad (may peace and blessings be upon him) through the angel Jibrael (Gabriel).)

Its a dangerous thing, to waste time chasing something that doesn't exist. Yet at times we do this anyway, feeling the need to be 'perfect' just to show off to people this false perfection. That's where the makeup comes in. And the weave. And the wigs. Fake nails. Fake lashes. Skin toners. Photoshop. Implants. Everything is just fake and plastic. And I ask this question mostly to myself, why?

Muslims, especially my sisters, you and I especially need to take heed of doing such things. The consequences are NOT a joke:

Qur'an:

"They call upon instead of Him none but female [deities], and they [actually] call upon none but a rebellious Satan."
"Whom Allah has cursed. For he had said, "I will surely take from among Your servants a specific portion.
"And I will mislead them, and I will arouse in them [sinful] desires, and I will command them so they will slit the ears of cattle, and I will command them so they will change the creation of Allah." And whoever takes Satan as an ally instead of Allah has certainly sustained a clear loss."
"Satan promises them and arouses desire in them. But Satan does not promise them except delusion.
"The refuge of those will be Hell, and they will not find from it an escape." (4:117-121)

Hadith:

Ibn Mas`ud (May Allah be pleased with him) said: Allah has cursed those women who practise tattooing and those women who have themselves tattooed, and those women who get their hair removed from their eyebrows and faces (except the beard and the mustache), and those who make artificial spaces between their teeth for beauty, whereby they change Allah’s creation. A woman started to argue with him, saying: “What is all this?” He replied: “Why should I not curse those whom the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) cursed and who are cursed in Allah’s Book? Allah, the Exalted, has said in His Book:
“And whatsoever the Messenger (Muhammad (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam)) gives you, take it; and whatsoever he forbids you, abstain (from it).” (59:7) [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Again, I'm no scholar or "perfect" Muslim, I'm just reminding and I care. Our beauty is sacred to our Lord, The Most-High. What are we saying when we try to "change" or "beautify" ourselves? I need to do better. We all do.

Generally speaking again, isn't it ironic that to reach this false perfection, we achieve everything that is false and fake? Thousands of dollars just to post that one photo on Instagram, facebook, or even on here just to basically say, "Yes, I'm beautiful. I'm this pretty. And you need to be like this too, or else you're ugly." Not saying that about you guys, but thats what I get from it. Masking insecurities to show off to those who can't afford to mask it. Don't get me wrong, we should always look nice and be decent looking, but there is a limit. We shouldn't lie and say thats the 'real us' when its behind false paint and hair.

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Looking back now, that following this, using this as my perspective that this, that ig model or that photoshopped celebrity was how I was supposed to look like. I wanted that body. I wanted that long hair. That 'flawless' skin. I wanted the superficial. But the insecurities didn't go away. Now I ask, why did I need to show off false confidence and call it self-love? When at the end of the day, when it all came off, I'm left with what I started and still hated everything that is me. I guess the lesson to learn from all of this is, learn to love what you got, and love it for you, not anyone else.

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Us, as individuals, were created by The Most Perfect of Creators, in the most beautiful, unique way possible. He makes no mistakes when it comes to His creation.

"Verily, We have created man of the best stature (mould)." (95:4)

You are as your own person, are "perfect" the way you are. And we can all believe it better when we stop comparing ourselves to the other and stop admiring what isn't real to begin with. Just focus on you and helping those around you. Compliment one another once in awhile. Make them feel good. It'll make you feel good too, it does for me. Grow who you're meant to become. Also know, you do not have to share every little thing, trust me. To those of you who think the evil eye is a myth, I can tell you for a fact it is very much real, and the more you show off, especially online, the more at risk you are of a downfall. Do not share too much of yourself. Sometimes what you're blessed with, is just meant for you. Thats it. And remember, in case I haven't emphasized enough, wasting time looking at the illusion is not only dangerous, but pointless. Time is too scarce to waste.

And as last note dedicated to us Muslim women/girls out there reading this. I just wanna say, that hijab ( muslim women's covering) is beautiful in the way it was prescribed to be beautiful. I'm learning time and time again how precious and important the hijab really is. Not just for guarding our chastity. But it also helps in understanding there is no need to conform to these standards of beauty or show of what isn't real. We keep it simple and get to the point. And the point being, you and I need to be wearing hijab to set an example of just how precious our beauty is, not trying to flaunt or modernize it. Please do not take this the wrong way, as I am imperfect just like you. I'm probably a nobody saying this, but because I care, I wanted to remind you in the sweetest way possible:

  • Hijab is not makeup, plucked eyebrows and fake lashes.
  • Hijab is not tight clothes, whether its tops or jeans.
  • Hijab is not just a long shirt and pants.
  • Hijab is not a turban, or "just a few hairs" showing.
  • Hijab is not a scarf that is tied around your neck or a belt tied at the waist.

Hijab is full coverage. Loose and non-fitting. Preserving our beauty. It is our liberation. It is a Mercy and blessing from Allah.

Again, I'm not perfect with it either. But for all of us, we need to show what hijab really is, and not what it isn't. We should all love it and wear it for what it is. Again, imagine, our beauty is so precious to Allah, no matter how others may view you as, to Him we are the most valuable and precious thing He wants to protect. He didn't create our beauty for just anyone to look at. He wants us to see our true worth as women. The more I think about it, the more my heart kind of flutters. Allah truly does love us.

Yeah so again, this is just advice and I hope we all take it Insha'Allah (If Allah wills). And on that note...

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Hope this all benefited you in some way, shape or form. Sorry if its too long, as I said I had ALOT of stuff to say on his topic. I also apologize again if I offended you in any way, as it was not my intention, and I am no one to judge anyone. Also, I apologize if I overused the word 'perfect' or 'perfection' too much lol, but this article called for the overuse of that word so.

Yeah. I appreciate if you read all the way through. I might come back to write one more part to this, I'm unsure, we'll see Insha'Allah (If Allah Wills). But I'll just leave you with some simple reminders:

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Just in case you're curious, what is Hijab exactly?

Anything I said of good is from Allah. Anything I said of evil is from myself.

Peace. KC. <3