July 17th 2019

Lately I've been thinking about life too much. I have tried analyzing each bit, emotion and experience. Why has each thing happened so far in my life?

The month of June went by fast, with travelling and hanging out with friends and family, I was always engaged. now that July has rolled in I have all the time in the world to question life about many things.

I have hit that stump in my life again where, my motivation is down the sink and I just waste my time doing nothing. I thank God and my parents that they have provided me so many resources. whatever I want I get. Whatever I need, I get. Cloths, books, pens, food. nothing to worry about. I am so lucky. but yet I feel this emptiness in me. Is it because I am straying away from God? or is it because I miss my mother? being independent sucks.

Medical school is starting again at the end of July and I fear for the lack of motivation I have. Final exams are in December but I have a reputation to hold of my own and my fathers. I want to succeed. I want to become a doctor. I will become a Doctor.

What really sucks that even after 7 months in a new country, culture school etc. I still don't feel like I fit in. maybe thats how it will always be, since I am so different. but it would be nice to make a best friend. A person who I can call anytime of the day, a person who I am actually comfortable with.

Enough with the rants. how is everyone's summer vacas going? anything new?

clouds, sky, and sunset image