Hello guys, I've got something to tell you.
I started to write this article couple of days ago, before Valentine's Day, because I felt alone and sad. I began to think about my friends, all of beautiful girls I know and about the ones I didn't even met. And I found out that in our environment there is so many girls, even young women who are vicious, jealous and sad because they think they aren't enough pretty. And what's worst sometimes I found myself doing the same thing, because this is how it is. We all, even boys, compete with each other, we are trying to be better than others than just to simply fight with our own weaknesses, flaws, defects.
Most of the girls that know me would told you, that I'm talking bullshit cause I'm good looking and I've got no complexes. And it's not possible for me to be jealous of someone. Most of them are looking at me and everything what they see is a pretty face, slim body and great character. And the most important thing they are jealous of is that stupid belief that I can have every boy I want.

I'm not writing this because I want you all to think that I don't like my female friends, cause I love them! I'm not writing this cause I want you to feel sorry for me or to show how amazing I am.
I know that I'm not the only one in that type of situation and I want to tell you guys, a big secret.
Everyday when I woke up I'm looking in the mirror and I've got that questions in the back of my head "What those people see in me? Why girls think that I'm better? Why they don't like me?".
There are days when I'm acting like a complete idiot, cause I know that nobody will ever look at me and see an equal person, a real human being. Cause all they can see is a beauty, so that's what I'm becoming - just a pretty face and body.
My male friend once asked me why I'm acting like a dumb blonde, why I'm pretending to be stupid when I'm a really intelligent young woman.
That one phrase just touched my soul and blew my mind.
I literally just stopped caring about what everyone around think of me. I stopped spending half of a days that has been given to me on looking in the mirror and trying to look as good as I can. Or I should write that I stopped trying to look as good as other girls or even better than other girls. I said to myself "You are worth much more than you can see in that reflection".
Someone once said that it's not our responsibility to be beautiful and we all should stick to that.
I can tell you that this just changed my life. I started to read, spending more time on learning, plenty of times I went out without any makeup on my face and I just felt free and beautiful with all of my spots and pimples.
And believe me - I became a human.
I could easily get a guy, just party all the time, study, work and pretend to be happy.
But I had chosen to do something a little different. The day before a Valentine's Day I'm leaving my country.
Now I'm at the airport, waiting for my flight. I'm starting a new chapter in my life, I'm starting to live like I always wanted. Travel the world with just one suitcase and a head full of plans and dreams.
Sounds great, doesn't it?
It's not.
I left my country because I was in love, I couldn't think about anything besides that one boy I had lost. I had a great job that I loved, I was studying math, I had plenty of great people around me, I had a life that many girls dream of. But I was dreaming about something else, about sharing my life with my big summer love.
And now we are going back to the top question – why are we all, girls, jealous? Why we think that someone has everything? Why we compete with each other?
We all went through something, we all had our hearts broken, we all are crazy amazing and there is no need to be ashamed, no need to hate someone.
Let me tell you this one: I moved out from Poland because of a boy, but here in UK, I met his friends. They moved in, to the same house just day before me.
I wanted to forget about him, to start my life again, to stop thinking about him every minute. But everything, just everything reminds me of him and I know that I don't want to forget. With every part of my heart, mind and soul I want him to be a part of my life. Even if it's only a memory, photos or songs, I want all of that stuffs that keep him living in my mind.
I think that I'm in a shitty position, but I can guarantee you that everything is possible. I'm a realist, but if possible was to met a boy I dreamt of as a teenage girl, in my age, from my town, thousands of miles from my country so I'm sure that everything I'm dreaming of now is possible too.
Focus on what you love, do something with your life and keep dreaming and I'm sure you're gonna be okay. Help other girls, be kind and wait.
My life is a great example of unstable, messy and lonely life. But after all I'm happy. I want to inspire girls and show them that we can spend our lives in different kind of ways. We can study, travel, love and cry when we want to. We can change our life from day to day and just don't care what others think about our decisions. We can live with no guilty, shame or fear.
And this is the most sexy, the most interesting, the most attractive feature girl can have - not being afraid to live her life the best.
I hope you all liked my small reflection.
See ya