''So basically, I spent the past few weeks worrying about work more than doing the work itself... ''

listen while reading recommendation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt0Me5qyK4g

hey friends, really missed blogging but seasonal depression didn't really help. anyways I am writing to you so I can really improve myself and show you guys how my ups and downs go and how I seem to get over them because I really believe we were created to explore, learn, and create from ourselves ,people, life, things, and more.. i believe all what people say is ugly, wrong (to an extent), stupid, extra, etc... are all things we could've tried or could've been but haven't really cherished just because we were judging ourselves according to other peoples opinions( beauty standards, judgments, family rules, stereotypes...)

Jan, 17 1:15pm

as exhausted as I can be! I finished my lectures at 10 am and then went to our school's stadium to organize and help in our science Carnaval, for the 3rd day this week. I finished at 1 pm and did a little celebration for my friends' birthdays and then I hed home after a loooooooooong day of studying and working with barely 4 hrs of sleep.

I felt really exhausted and just wanted to recover a little because I was feeling so depressed at that time, but I knew if I slept I will wake up at midnight, flipflop my sleeping schedule, and become more depressed than ever. so I stayed awake and decided to do little spa at home because I almost grew whiskers after that terrific week I have had.

so I set up my intentions for a full spa night including:
-a body and face scrub
-avocado hair mask
-face mask
-feet care

girl, art, and painting image
pink, bath, and water image

I did most of them then I got a call from my aunt and she was like '' come pick us up we can't miss a good girls night at my cafe'' of course its not hers but since she always goes to 'BOHO' alone we decided to go together this time. we met a really cute waitress who was really nice and offered to take a picture for us. I went with 4 of my aunts, our little gang!
that was the best decision I took this week. it was a glorious bohemian cafe with all of the old paintings and decoration on the walls and the eastern furniture, too. everything was perfect to make you feel warm and cozy!!

cafe and coffee image
cafe, jeddah, and coffee image

we had a sleepover, aka a disaster. we blasted music till 1 am and then slept like chicken till 11 am.

Jan,18 11 am

we woke up, made breakfast, and chatted a little bit.

food, avocado, and breakfast image
book, coffee, and black coffee image

we also binge-watched Mari kondo's show and felt like potatoes afterward. my next week's goal is to start cleaning and organizing my room more. I am a minimalist so I don't have a lot of things to clean, yet it will take me some time because I want to take away more things from my place(i will write about it if you want!).

book, books, and konmari image
closet, home, and clothes image

I sketched a little bit till evening then I made dinner for my aunts( lol everyone knows how to cook than a child like me does it, hehe)

art, buildings, and drawing image

I have to admit that felt like it was a cleansing technique (cooking, although I don't even know how I managed that )

pasta, comida, and food image

Jan 19 3 pm

so my mom and dad took Yusuf( my little brother) to take a test in a public school and they came back at 11ish. I was up since 9.30 am and literally did nothing, I just stood up from bed at 12 pm maybe and started sketching a little bit.

personally, I know that sometimes I have to force myself to do things because they are good for me. yet, at times I feel too exhausted I know I must trust my body and just take a break. no matter what, I try to trust myself and listen to what m body tells me. I am grateful for every organ and everything it has done for me. and its obv ungratefulness to ignore it.

girl, art, and painting image

I know its hard at times because when I am depressed I am 24hr/7d tired and exhausted to the point that I might sleep 15 hrs a day and maybe more, I am talking 17-18 hours. yet some days I get no sleep.
balance is the key I believe, just give a try, know the reasons, come up with smart solutions, and practice.

thank you guys so much for reading this. good morning/evening<33

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