She was falling, falling fast. It was like one of those dreams in which you are falling and you suddenly jolt awake and feel this aching pain in your heart and head. Yet, she wasn't falling in her sleep she was falling when she was awake and there was a constant pain in her head and heart that never went away. It was like she was a constant state of falling. She was falling for him.
Many would see this as a good thing. He was everything she could ask for, even more. He was good to her, cared for her, and even spoiled her. He had made her feel more comfortable in herself. He had challenged her anxiety to a duel, and somehow he won. He was able to contain her crazy and mellow her out. She always compared herself to a ticking time bomb and somehow he defused it. They were polar opposites, but they worked.
She knew all of this, but it didn't stop her from overthinking the entire situation. She had let those what if thoughts infect her like a virus. All of a sudden her world came crashing down around her, the what if thoughts had taken hold and built a cage around her. In the cage were visions of all the things that could possibly go wrong if she continued to fall. She couldn't get out and he wasn't there to save her this time. Her anxiety guarded the cage and her depression taunted her with the key. If only she could reach a little bit farther she could reach that key and escape the prison that the what if thoughts built.

Don't let them get to you. You are stronger than they are. You control them, they don't control you. If all else fails I am there for you. I won't let your anxiety outsmart you. I won't let your depression hold you hostage. You deserve the world and one day I hope to give it to you.

She wiped the tears from her cheeks and opened up her eyes, she was back in her bedroom. There was no cage. Her anxiety, depression, and what if thoughts sat across from her. They stared at her, almost like they were waiting for her next move so that they could trap her once again.
"Please leave me alone," She begged of them. Instead of leaving they continued to stare. All they ever did was make her feel terrible about herself and ever since he arrived she realized she didn't have to put up with anymore.
"We are hard to get rid of. We don't just leave when your life is good. We are always there, in the back of your head." Depression spoke slowly and softly.
"As long as you live I will be here, and so will my what if friends." Anxiety talked faster and the what if thoughts agreed.
"It's okay that I'm falling because I know that he will be there to catch me," She reasoned with them.
"What if he isn't there. What if he pretends he will catch you and then pulls away at the last second. What if he is just doing this all for a twisted joke." The what if thoughts began to get closer and closer to her without her noticing. She began to close her eyes and the three of them continued their advance on her.
"No," She called out to them. "I will not let you control me anymore. I might not be able to get rid of you, but I can tame you. There is no need for the what if thoughts because I am going to live in the now. I know depression and anxiety won't fully leave, but I will learn better ways of dealing with you two. I am done being yours, I am my own person. I am going to win this war."

girl, hair, and sunset image