Friendship. I didn't think that friendships could be toxic until I got trapped in one myself.

But, I guess you never really realise something until it has happened to you. Man, did it happen to me. The worst part about being in one of these horrible so called 'friendships' is sometimes you are actually unaware just how ruining it can be.

Before I begin telling you my story, I would like you to reflect and think about your current friendships or possible relationships. Even the ones that you think may be invincible, because.. this is my warning.

From the outside, my friendship with Emma was perfect. We were the best of friends that were always together, told each other everything and would always be there for each other. But on the inside, it was my own personal reckoning. I was being used. It didn't matter whether it was me or some random on the other side of the world that was talking to her on the phone for four hours about her problems. It could have been anyone, because although she half listened to my opinion or what I though she still didn't care. Four hours on a phone call would go by and she still wouldn't have asked how I was. Being treated like I didn't matter took its toll on my personality, self-esteem and attitude towards things.

fuck you, fake friends, and friends image

It came to a point where when something was going on with me or my home life I. would just ignore it because, "Emma is going through something, so I can't be right now" and Emma was always going through something. I know, it sounds really stupid saying it now but when I felt it, I truly meant it. Because I was always there for her, and I thought she was always there for me. But I was blind. Now I am not and I realise that she was never there for me.

In the back of my mind I think I always knew what she was doing to me, so I would take 'breaks' from her. A week or so when I needed to breathe from her and clam down because of how draining it was on me. Writing this now, I am even revealing that Emma didn't even ask if something was wrong during these periods that I didn't speak to her. The edge was so close to me during those breaks. I thought Emma was clueless that she was a blackhole sucking all of the energy from me, but I was the clueless one to realise she knew exactly what she was doing and didn't care one bit.

Towards the end of our relationship my true value to her became more clear to me. There were a few specific circumstances that led to my epiphany, you could say. By the way, Emma's 'problems' were not very problematic and she managed to gain attention and drama from anything and everything that happened to her. Always make sure you are valued in a friendship or relationship!

These circumstances will be written as short stories and placed in the same folder as this article.

So, keep those REAL and TRUE friends by your side through everything and have gratitude.