Sooo the whole point of this is for me to let out my emotions and to write down things that are going on in my brain. Soo im feeling like shit. i think im in love with a girl who doesn´t give a shit about me. Yesterday i was talking to one of my friends over text and i told her what`s going on. She is straight and she is one of thr only people who know about all of this like me being gay and in love with this girl. Soo she knows everything that happened between me and my crush. She told me too move on because i don`t deserve to feel like shit because of a girl who doesn`t really care aboum me that much by her actions. What`s happening is that she is just getting more distant (my crush). She started hanging out with one of my close friends from school and i didn`t mind at first but then i saw she was acting the same way to her like she acted towards me. I realised i just got my hopes up for nothing and that she acted like that with everyone and that i was in no way special to her. That is how i feel at least. But it still hurts like i think i love her and i feel like she will never have any similar feelings for me. I am such a mess such a big ass gay mess of a person. Like maybe she did have some feelings for me once but right now i highly doubt it and i will probably try and take my friends advice and try and move on ( like i havent been for months now) or find someone new and not like a crush that like lasts three days. I need to replace her and forget about her she is my friend afterall i just think i need some time without her soo i can clear my head and try to focus on other things. I will try but it will be hard. ily bye xxxx