We were in love. We had good times, even though it was never meant to be. Well, at the time I thought it was, cause love can make you oh so blind. But when he broke up with me I was in tears and I thought I could never live without him. I depended so much on him, way too much. All I thought about was him: how to please him, make him happy and all in all be the best girlfriend ever. I completely forgot about me. I completely forgot about the person I should've loved the most the whole time. Me.
And now I now why I was so depended on him and why I kept being in a relationship so toxic. I thought he was my only happiness. He made me forget. Forget about all of the things in my head and all of my problems. He was my escape, my drug and my ticket away from my fucked up reality. I thought he was my savior.
But deep down I knew. I knew that he wasn't the right for me, I knew that I deserved so much better, but I kept lying to myself. I stayed, even though I was treated so unfairly. I stayed. I stayed in his mess to escape my own. I stayed.
It's so crazy to look back and it almost makes me laugh now. But sometimes it still hurts. Not because of him, that jerk, but because of me. Because I was so hurt. Because I didn't care about myself at all. That makes me so sad and I never want to forget about myself like that ever again.
It's my time now. My time to finally face my problems instead of running away from them. And my time to finally love the girl that needs my love so badly. Me.