Hello ! So, December is just here and as it's the month I was born and the month I am on summer vacation (I live in Brazil), I usually get inspired. Today I decided to write an article that can be useful and helpful for some people. I'm going to talk somethings about my life when I was starting the "teenage age" or whatever it's called in English (google translator really didn't help me with this one, sorry). What I mean is when we are about 11 or 12 years old we start being named "teenagers" and not "children" anymore. Well, the age can vary from person to person, but I was 11 or 12 when it happened to me.
I'm scrounging to get to the point. So, when I got to be a teenager and I went to the fifth grade (I'm referring to Brazilian grades) there were so many new people from other schools and I always used to have a lot of friends (kids usually don't have problems to make friends). The fifth grade was a shock for me, it was like an epiphany cause everything that happened transformed me. Suddenly, my friends stopped thinking I was interesting enough to deserve their friendship, suddenly I felt alone and suddenly, I got sad. It's not one of those sadnesses that after 5 minutes go away. Somehow, I couldn't fit anymore, my best friend just forgot about my existence and made new friends, I was the shy and quiet girl from the front seating who didn't need to be remembered by anyone. By this point, I was so upset with everything, with nobody caring or realizing I wasn't ok, that I got depressed.
The next years sucked the same way, except by the part I talked to my best friend and explained she forgot about my existence and things kinda got better between us.
I wasn't that good looking, I still had that plump face of child and my hair was a mess (it haven't changed yet), so these things just put me down, especially when a stupid older guy (he was like one year older than me, he wasn't even in my classes to know me) said his friend I was weird literally by my back (literally like LITERALLY, I was in front of him on the sidewalk waiting for my mom to pick me up at school and he simply said to his friend I was weird without trying to disguise or whisper). I won't keep talking about the bad experiences I had till I get to college cause it would take eternity.
What I realized was: sometimes, all the bad things that happened and took my confidence away, made me think and worry about what people were thinking of me, made me think that at every single second someone was there judging me, and to be honest, some people suck and really judge others, but there are a lot of other cool people that have more to do than judge other people. There are good people on earth, there are good people on your city, on your neighborhood and on you school, maybe you just didn't find/know them yet.
No one was aware of my fu**ed up emotional state and if I wanted to be happy or to have the chance to be happy and smile sincerely, I was the only one who could make it happened. I got tired of feeling miserable, so I lifted my head and stopped mourning for the things I suffered. And I got it. I am happy now. But the only force that is capable of saving ourselves of ourselves has to come from us, from the inside. There won't be a person who is going to pull you up totally. With this I'm not saying like "oh, people can't help each other with emotional struggles", what I mean is people can help each other, but this help will never bring the strength, the force you need to feel good with yourself and stop caring about stupid asshol*s. It has to come from you, you have to find out how to love yourself, how to give yourself some attention and not expect this attention from others. Then, you'll be so self-sufficient that anything will be able to bring you down again.
Always remembered, you're interesting, you're worthy, you're beautiful inside and out, you're strong, you can do whatever you want, you just have to believe in yourself.
Just to make thing clear, I'm saying these things but they just apply to similar cases. If you have some different problem and need any help, please, look for help, don't ignore emotional struggle, everyone deserves to be happy and if you need to go to a doctor and talk to someone for it, then just do it, look for professional help please, you're worthy.
I know this article got kinda messed up, there are a lot of English mistakes, but I just had to write it and I'm here to try to help, to give some tips and this kind of things... So if you want to talk to someone, you can talk to me, just send me a message and I will try to help you as much as I can.
Hope you guys like it, sorry again about the messy article and if I wasn't clear enough/if you couldn't understand a thing of what I wrote. I'll be always here.
A phrase I saw someday and liked: "the beauty of another person doesn't annul yours".

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You are the only one who can define yourself. Always remember this.

Gabriela xx