To be honest with all of you reading this, I don't know who broke up with who.
That doesn't really matter to me.
I could say for sure you broke up with me, because I was begging you to stay, but then you left.
But you were angry because of something I said.
I said some horrible words to you, and yes, I hurt you.
Saturday 17.
We had a fight, and you were treating me like shit, as it is customary.
And this fight came along with several small battles we were having lately, because you weren't satisfied.
I was feeling anxious, and like I wasn't enough for you.
So I was trying to fix it, as always.
But you didn't care, and started to treat me wrong.
I got angry, as I am human and have emotions, because of some words you said.
This is the last time we do this, thank you.
I called you.
And I called you.
Pick up the phone, please.
I called you.
And I called you another 4 times.
You didn’t pick up.
Then you said: don’t fucking disturb I am busy.
And I went furious.
I called you out and said horrible things.
But you know what? I read this days that when you get angry you stimulate the honest part of your brain, so you're must likely to spit out the bitter truth.
And while I was angry and my words flooded, I didn't meant half of them.
But the other half were truth.
You want to know what came through my mind while I was writing them? I was thinking of how free I was going to be without you, I was thinking of how of a beautiful independent woman I was about to become, of how much it was time to do this. It hurt, because I was giving up onto trying to make you love me in the right way.
So then you called.
How funny, isn’t it?
I thought you were fucking busy.
I wasn’t going to pick up, not with these tears running down my face.
But I did.
And my broken heart just managed to say: What do you want?
What does that text mean?
What do you want it to mean?
What does it mean?
You treat me like shit and expect me not to get angry?
And in that moment, I had hope. I was hoping that you say sorry and that you didn’t mean it so I could forgive you and we will be fine.
But the call stopped.
And then I text you.
You don’t answer.
And my manipulated damaged mind goes ahead to apologize and beg for you to stay for the next 2 days.
But I don’t want you to stay anymore.
In all honesty, yes, I would like that you come back. But just to tell me you’re sorry.
And then I’ll be able to forgive you.